Page 93 of Maid in America

“Remind me about the final couples again.”

“So Shelly loves Kyle, but Kyle is into Jessica. But Jessica is thebisexualgirl, so she’s into ShellyandBryan. Bryan is the idiot everyone loves and is rooting to win. But he’s intoJessica, so they might get together. But who knows, she may want Shelly.”

Not even vaguely listening, Barrett bit into a potato wedge, watching her in the reflection of the television, how her body moved gracefully, coiled like a cozy snake, oblivious to his gawking.

Knowing the weakest-willed one of the two, Molly propped her head up on the edge of the futon, staring at the fried chicken in Barrett’s box.

“Wait,” he said, just before Chastity pushed play on the episode. He kicked off his boots and turned on the futon to face her. “You said you had good news.”

She tried to hide a smile, forcing her face to stay serious. “I do.”

“Shoot,” he said through a mouthful of potato.

Molly’s eyes traced the path of the fried meat as Barrett lifted a tender to his mouth. Spotting his captive audience, he tossed her a fry, watching her inhale it mid-air.

Chastity took a deep breath. “My psychiatrist said today during our session that it looks like my meds have really balanced out. Overall, I’ve been doing a lot better. Less impulsive. Got through last month’s down-swing, I’m not cryingnearlyas often as I was. I mean, I still cry… during movies and stuff.”

“Or when Kelsey got voted off the island,” he added.

“Yeah, but that was different. That elimination wasn’t fair. Duke turned around the next day and was flirting with Amy.”

“I know. Then, there was the wholeAmydrama.” He gnawed another tender.

“Anyway, I just feel like this weight I never knew existed has been kinda lifted off my shoulders. Like I’ve been on a treadmill my whole life, and I’m finally getting to step off and take a breather, you know?”

She gave him a genuine smile that warmed his heart. He fought the overwhelming urge to lean forward and kiss her.

“I’m so excited to hear that.” His smile wasn’t as bright as he was willing it to be. “All I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy. I’m so glad you decided to give the medications a shot. You seem less bogged down in the tough times. You’re easier to console, and you’ve been reaching out for help more instead of trying to do it all by yourself.”

“That support page changed my life.” She smiled again. “The best thing social media ever did was connect us people who are dealing with the same thing together all over the world. Sasha, the girl I met on that page, and I plan to do a movie marathon over Skype soon. She’s hilarious. I can’t wait for you to meet her. You’ll love her. It… it’s just such a relief to feel like I’m not alone.”

He massaged her shin with his hand, thinking about the wordloveand how he wanted to say it, but not to some stranger named Sasha on a message board.

“You’re never alone, Chastity. Not unless youwantto be.”

She nodded. “I know.”

He rubbed her leg again and could’ve sworn he felt goosebumps emerging from beneath his touch.

“So what’s next? What’s the next step with all of this.”

She swallowed, setting her empty box on the table and shooing Molly’s nosy snout away from it. Barrett did the same.

“I gottalive, I guess. And fuck things up, and fix them, and tweak meds, and then… live some more. Oh, andtherapy.” She chuckled. “I have alotto unpack about my parents still.”

“How are things with them going?” he asked, grabbing her foot and massaging it with his hands. She moaned a little, and he felt his dick perk up at the sound of it.

“I dunno. I’m still torn. I’m pissed about the way everything went down.”

“Naturally.”

“I can’t tell if they’re apologizing because they saw how fucked-up what they did was or if it just looks bad on them to have a child they don’t speak to. They aren’t a perfect, happy example of a family if I’m estranged. They haven’t agreed to any of the family counseling sessions I offered to set up. So, until then, we might just be at an impasse. Until they can see what I’ve been struggling with isn’t a choice and that you’re not a prostitute, I don’t know. Judgemental bullshit just doesn’t work for me anymore.”

“Unless it’s people onSummer Love.”

“Of course.” She giggled. The sound made his heart ache.

He would miss that the most.

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