Page 90 of Maid in America

“Thank you.”

He shook his head and mustered a sad laugh.

“What?” She wiped her face.

“You really are so stubborn, you know that?” His heart broke a little as the words left his mouth.

They dressed in silence, and Barrett drove her back to theRabbit Runapartments without uttering a single word.

What could he possibly say?

Her decision felt firm. Decisive. Painful and wise in equal measure. She needed to get her shit together, a feeling Barrett was all-too-familiar with.

As he walked her to the complex doors, he wrapped his arms around her, eager to feel her body against his for just a moment longer. The more he wanted to hold her, to embrace her tightly, to beg for her to change her mind… the more he knew heshouldn’t. Love was wild and feral, like Smoky. He knew that the harder he held it, the faster it would all just slip through his fingers.

As he sat in his Jeep, engine purring, he wished he had told her what he felt, the ones he had never uttered to a woman before.

I love you.

Maybe he had missed his chance.

Whether he said them or not, the sentiment was true.

He was in love with her. And for a moment, she had been his to cherish, his to cling to, and that had to be worth something, some small consolation.

Maybe this wouldn’t be permanent. Maybe, like Smoky, if he kept the window open, she would one day return and stay a while.

36

The heat of thebrutal mid-summer sun was partially blocked by the building with a stone facade in front of Barrett’s idling Jeep. He watched the double doors, waiting for the familiar face to emerge.

Will’s voice came through the car speakers. “So what do you think? Are you up for it?”

Barrett sighed, gut twisting at the prospect. “Denver? Jesus, Will, that’s a huge ask.”

“I know, Barrett. I just figured, with your Gam-Gam gone now, it might be time for a change of scenery and a sizeable pay-bump in your salary.”

“But Denver? Will, why there? It’s a bunch of woke potheads who stress pronouns and eat runny eggs on their burgers.”

“I know, Barrett.”

“You’re not listening to me, Will!” Barrett was shouting now. “Isaidthey puteggson theirburgers. How do you not find that offensive?”

“Just wait til you try their alleged Tex-Mex fusion shit. I’m not saying… you can’t… you don’t go to Denver for the fuckingcuisine, Barrett.” Will was so flustered and stressed that he was stammering.

“Why can’t you and Ava go to set up the new branch?”

“Because we have a daughter, Barrett. Remember your Goddaughter, Starla? Hmmm? She’s established in a school and ballet and extra-curricular activities. I’m not going to uproot her for something like this if I don’t have to. She’s got friends here. Her whole life is here. I can’t ask an eight-year-old to give all of that up so Daddy can branch out and set up a new fleet for a few months. Not to mention, we are about to getmarriedsoon.”

He’d heard rumblings about Denver for a few weeks. Chatter in the main office. Spreadsheets printed by Ava lying around.

Deep down, Barrett had already known the answer before Will had even asked him to relocate, but he’d needed more time. Time to make up a plausible excuse. Time to scramble for a reason not to go.

After losing his grandmother at the beginning of the summer, he was excited at the prospect of a fresh place to start over. New sights and experiences. A new start where he had no reputation, no local douchebags with old high school grudges wanting to fight him, no bitterly-scorned lovers, and a chance to hire his own muscular crew at a job he enjoyed.

He had every reason to leave.

All butone.

---