Page 86 of Maid in America

“Sorry, you guys. This game’s a little junior high for my taste.” Rachel dug in her purse and pulled out a white, hand-rolled joint the size of a cigarette. “Anyone mind if I smoke some of the ol’ sticky-icky?”

Everyone slowly shook their heads, and she lit the end with a bedazzled lighter. She sputtered out a cough and smiled, offering it to the others. “It’s not much, but everyone’s welcome.”

Will shook his head. “No. None for me. Weed and I don’t mix.”

“Willing parties only,” Rachel said.

Maya took it, sucking down a few deep drags like she had missed it. “Oh, you angel! It’s illegal here still, right?” Maya asked quietly.

Rachel nodded. “So don’t narc on me.”

“Where the hell did you get it? I haven’t been able to find any to save my life. All they have around here is that Delta-eight shit.”

“A friend of mine, a guy from the club, always goes down to Colorado for work. He brings it back for me.”

Maya took another puff and offered it to Sherri.

“I haven’t smoked since college,” she said hesitantly as the joint smoldered in her hand. She took a drag and started coughing as soon as the smoke hit her lungs. She handed it back to Maya, doubling over as she continued her coughing fit. “Bit… rusty… I guess.”

Ava hopped off the truck bed and strolled over, Will watching from his seat, eyebrows raised, a look of surprise etched into his features. She reached her fingers out to Maya. “May I?”

Maya handed it off, and Ava took it, taking a long drag. “Man, that takes me back. Why the hell did we stop doing stuff like this? When the hell did we all grow up?”

She held the joint out to Barrett, and he shook his head. “Normally yes, but… I just offered to be DD.”

“Chastity?” Ava held her hand out.

Chastity swallowed and gave a nervous chuckle, her face suddenly looking a little pained. “I love it. But it messes with me.”

“That’s kind of the point, isn’t it?” Ava smiled.

Chastity looked at the fire, liquid courage in her veins tipping over the pitcher of emotion overflowing in her chest. The words came rushing out, sounding like they were screamed through a megaphone in her own head.

“I’m bipolar.”

There was a moment of silence. Barrett rubbed her back reassuringly. Unable to make eye contact with anyone, Chastitylifted her gaze up to a moonless sky, its normally steadfast presence somehow abandoning her in her time of need.

“Drugs and booze really hit me differently, I’m realizing. Sometimes the weed makes me mellow, and sometimes it takes away the last fuck I have to give. I flunked out of veterinary school a few months ago because I was high and manic, always feeling ten-foot-tall-and-bulletproof, trying to self-medicate on anything and everything I could get my hands on. I was diagnosed a couple months ago, and I couldn’t handle it.”

The area was quiet save for the crackling wood in the fire and the gentle sounds of the lake a few feet away.

“I promise I’m not a danger. I’m just… scared. You and my parents are the only people I’ve told, and they didn’t take it well.”

At the mention of her parents, tears formed in her eyes. Her body slumped, and she wiped her cheeks with her palms.

“That’s fucked up. What did your parents actually say?” Rachel asked gently before taking another puff.

“My father said nothing. My mother gave me a lecture insinuating that this was brought on by my lifestyle and wild ways. She insisted it was something I’d grow out of if I’d just try harder to get my life together. She told me to pray for strength. For ‘this too shall pass.’”

The tears came faster, dribbling down her chin to her neck. “I overheard her and her friends talking shit about me the day I moved out. And then tonight she called, said they found out about what Barrett does for a living, and that we’re together now. She said they’re ashamed of me, that until I can come to my senses and stop seeing Barrett and stop with this ‘bipolar nonsense,’ they refuse to be seen with me. Like their fuckingreputationmeans more than their own daughter.”

The others sat in silence.

Chastity sobbed again. “I’m sorry. I know that was more than a little bit of an overshare.”

“Girl, most of us have issues these days. Our parents had them, too. They just didn’t have names for them. They didn’t have a DSM-V or WebMD or a lot of counselors or therapists like we do now. Hell, I’m on a bunch of shit for my generalized anxiety disorder. And I swear to God, if one more person tells me to relax or do yoga, I’m gonna snap.”

Chastity sniffled, letting out an involuntary laugh. She shivered, and without hesitating, Barrett took off his hoodie and wrapped it around her shoulders. She flashed him a grateful expression.

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