Page 54 of Maid in Heaven

Dan’s hazel eyes looked back at her. Black bags hung beneath them. His typically-shaven face was coated in something of a 10 o’clock shadow. He looked likehe hadn’t slept in aweek.“Ava…I’m fucking miserable. I made…a mistake. I want our life back.”

Ava softeneda little. “What?”

“If I go…put my clothes back on… will you listen to what I have to say?”

It was only then that Ava looked down and realized Dan was naked except for wet calf-high socks and his smartwatch. He cupped his privates in both hands and slouched.

“If it makes you go away faster, then fine.”

With a quick nod of understanding, Dan scurried back to the bathroom and grabbed his clothes, talking through the open door.“I really wanted kids, Ava. I really thought I’d really be missing outif I didn’t have one.”

“I said we could adopt,” she yelled back.

“It’s not the same. I wanted one of myown.” His voice was muffled as he pulled his shirt over his head, wearing it backward and inside out now. “Don’t get me wrong…I care about Nancy.I really do. I just think…we’d be better off raising Hunter as friends.”He bobbled, nearly toppling over in his stupor. He caught himself on the doorknob just in time.

“So split upand share custodylike normal adults. What does any of this have to do with you climbing into your ex-wife’s fucking shower?!”

“I don’t think…I’m cut out to be a Dad.” Danfollowed her out to the living room, using the walls to right himself, stopping just two feet shy of Ava. Her arms were crossed, and a scowl was plastered across her shampoo-streaked face. “I think…we had it rightall along.I was just…too blind to see it. But I see thingsclearlynow.”

Dan’s bloodshot eyes were wild with desperation.Fury bubbled in Ava.The man had some balls.

“You look exhausted. You need some rest.”

“The kid… he cries… all the time!”

“That’s part ofhaving a kid, Daniel. That’s what you signed up for.”

“I know. Look,” he said frantically, grabbing Ava’s hand, “I know.”

Ava jerked her hand away from him and growled,“You did this to yourself. All of it, Dan!You got another woman knocked up. And I’m supposed to justshrug that off? I can’t havekids! Do youknowhow fucking hurtful that is to do to someone? You tossed me aside like I was useless garbage. You put your own needs first. You always have!” Ava felt the last of her restraint crumble beneath the strainof her words.

“You were gone all of the timefor yourjob!” He yelled. “I was lonely! I handled it the wrong way. I’m sorry,Ava, but you can’t let one stupid decision ruin twelve years of being together.”

“No,youdid.”

“We can go back to the way things were. We were so…happy.”

“I wasn’t happy!I wascomfortable. There’s a difference. Clearly, you were missing something I couldn’t give you.”

“You were never around!” He bobbed his head. “Although, I’m sorry. Iheard you lost your job.”

Ava was appalled. “Fromwho?”

“It’s a small town, Ava. Word gets around.”

“So? I lost myjob, not mymind. You need to leave!” Ava sneeredand jabbedher finger towards the door.

“I’m not going anywhere, Ava,” Dan continued, grabbing her arms and drawing her closer. “You love me. I know you do.”

“I do notneedthis right now!” Avagroaned andtried to pull away. His grip tightened, and he tuggedher back.“Ilovedyou. Past tense,Dan. Now let me go! I am not going to ask you again!”

“I’m sorry! How many different ways do I need to say it? Do you want me to scream it from the roof? Take out a fuckingbillboard? I’m sorry!I was an idiot!”

“You were a terrible husband. You never know what youactually want. You alwaysthink youneedwhat you can’thave.”

“Just give me a chance!” He yanked her close and forced his thin lips against hers.

It was like kissing two chapped worms.

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