Page 95 of Wait For It

“You wanna see it wild and free, maybe you’d better put in a request for a field trip to the ocean next time.”

With the exception of an accident I couldn’t remember, I’d lived my entire life innext timesandmaybes, letting someone else dictate my fate. If I didn’t try to chart my own course, then Killian would eventually become just one more thing I missed.

“Promise me we’ll go someday,” I said in a wobbly voice, extending my pinky finger. “Right here, right now.”

Killian took it in his with a grin. “Absolutely, slugger. Once you’re released, we’ll go down to Galveston for the day. I was also thinking, if it doesn’t interfere with your schedule, maybe you’d like to join me in West Palm Beach for spring training. You wouldn’t have to stay the whole time—”

What would it be like—to only feel small when wading into the vast waters of the ocean?

“Yes,” I breathed, releasing his finger to run my hand along the outside of his arm. He released a sharp breath when I tugged him forward. Closer. “I’d like that.”

A visible shudder moved down Killian’s body, the muscle in his jaw twitching as he debated with himself.

Disappointment wrapped around my heart like one of the tentacles on my necklace. I needed him to touch me, to erase all the doubts in my mind that told me we could never be together.

He lowered his head to mine, speaking softly through gritted teeth. “Do you know how hard it is for me not to kiss you when you touch me like that? But I don’t know if our rule is still in effect. Christ, Ari. Do you need me to be your friend here—what do you want?”

I lifted my chin, fighting the smile tugging at my lips. “I just want you to treat me like a normal girl.”

Killian’s eyes flashed as they moved over my body, lingering for a few extra seconds on my breasts before he jerked his chin in a nod.

“There’s just one problem with that,” he bit out in a taut voice. “You’re not a normal girl.”

“Oh.” I let my arm fall back to my side and put some distance between us, trying to inject cheerfulness in my tone as I stopped in front of another case. “Did you see these? Longnose killifish. That’s interesting.”

You know what else was interesting? Being told you weren’t normal and not knowing whether it was a compliment or an insult.

“Hey,” Killian murmured in my ear, his fingertips trailing lightly down my spine. “That didn’t come out quite like I’d hoped it would.”

He straightened when a couple of patients from our group stopped to read the sign. I took the opportunity to turn around to face him, searching his eyes for some insight into what he was feeling.

“Come here.”

With his left hand on my shoulder, Killian led me through the door for the bathrooms and into a deserted hallway. The lighting was harsh compared to the aquarium’s, and it took several seconds for my eyes to adjust.

“What are—”

I didn’t get a chance to complete the thought before he was pushing me forward. There was an audible thud as his crutch fell to the concrete, and the heavy door slammed shut behind us.

Killian’s chest brushed against mine as he guided me back against a wall, before bracing his hands over my head. “I’m sorry.” He released a sharp breath. “I suck at saying the right thing—”

“Don’t,” I warned, letting my hands slowly move up the muscles in his arms before coming to rest against his neck. It seemed like a tragedy that he’d brought me in here just to apologize. He pulled away, and I tightened my grip with a growl of frustration.

Did this man not understand how badly I needed to touch him?

“Ari—” Killian pleaded, the muscle in his jaw twitching in earnest as he inhaled a deep breath. His resolve was close to slipping, he just needed a little push.

“I need to feel you.” I reached for his hand, placing it against my hip. “Don’t you want that?”

“Does it fucking feel like I don’t want that?” He growled, grinding his hard length against the lower part of my belly. “If you’d let me, I’d fuck you up against this wall right now. But you’re not a normal girl. Not to me.”

There it was again.

Two words that felt like a judgment.

“Why?” I stifled a moan as my hips arched forward, instinctively seeking the friction of him. “Because of my brain injury? The seizure? What is it that makes me so abnormal to you?”

My body’s response was foreign but not unwelcome. If sex wasn’t meant to be pleasurable, then why did the mere feel of Killian leave me needy with want?

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