Page 91 of Wait For It

“This isn’t going to work.”

“What do you mean?” I checked my reflection and adjusted the baseball cap again, avoiding the dark circles and translucent skin that begged for some attention. “We have a plan. We’re sticking to the plan.”

When Tsega had offered her help, it seemed she’d been under the assumption I needed clothes and some cash—not an accomplice in a covert operation involving aliases and seedy motel rooms.

Clearly, I was the criminal mastermind of our little group.

I tightened one of my pigtails and, feeling the weight of her glare, turned with a sigh. “What? Don’t tell me you’re getting cold feet now.”

On Saturdays,True Northoffered field trips into the city for patients who met specific criteria. Now that I was almost exclusively walking, Natalie had cleared me to attend.

But I had no intention of returning.

I’d wanted someone to save me, but ghost Ashlynn had been right. Only I could save me.

“Do I need to remind you I’ve been against this plan of yours since day one? Ariana, you’re not ready.”

Tsega paced the room, listing the cons on her fingers. “One, you won’t have access to your medication—medication you absolutely need, I might add. Two, the money won’t last forever, and you won’t be able to get a job using a fake name. Three—and this is a big one—you can run across the world if you want, but you won’t be able to escape your feelings.”

Dammit.

My heart sank, but the time for falling apart had passed. So maybe I’d spent the last ten days wallowing in my misery like a pig in the mud—it didn’t mean I was broken.

Perhaps I wasn’t the embodiment of health and wellness, but I was still breathing, wasn’t I?

“Anything else?” I managed not to roll my eyes. Between her and Georgia, I wasn’t sure whose lectures were worse. For two women who’d pushed me to take a stand, they’d had a surprisingly negative response to my plan to run.

“Yeah, there is actually,” she said, matching my defiant tone. “The aquarium is a lot of fun. I think you might be pleasantly surprised.”

“I highly doubt that,” I muttered under my breath as we walked down to the bank of elevators.

Tsega tightened her grip on my arm before leaning in to whisper, “I heard that. It’d be a shame if you missed the field trip and had to stay in your room for the rest of the day.”

“What are you, my mother?” I hissed. “You’re supposed to support me on this—what happened to not fighting alone?”

She faked a smile as someone passed us in the hall, dropping it as soon as they were out of sight. “There’s fighting back, and then there’s suicide. I’ll let you guess which one your plan falls under. Trust me, you’ll thank me later.”

I tried not to feel sorry for myself on the ride down to the lobby, but it wasn’t easy when nothing in my life was going according to plan.

As if it wasn’t bad enough that I woke every morning to the memory of his kiss, Killian’s ghost refused to vacate the dang building. I was being haunted by the familiar squeak of crutches. When my heart realized the truth, I’d been forced to relive the loss of him all over again.

He wasn’t coming back.

It was time to come to terms with the fact that the feelings I’d developed were one-sided. But, as Tsega and Georgia were currently thwarting my every attempt at moving on, I didn’t see the harm in allowing myself an extra couple of days to be sad.

No need to rush my grief.

By the time we stepped off the elevator, I was making a mental list on the benefits of using shower wailing as a form of therapy.

Therefore, I didn’t immediately respond to my name being spoken. It wasn’t until Tsega squeezed my bicep that I shelved the idea of pitching it to the facility’s psychologists, and reluctantly returned to reality.

“Aren’t you glad you decided to take my advice?” she whispered with a smug grin.

“That’s not been officially decided…” My words cut off abruptly as I registered the movement.

Killian was crossing the lobby, his icy blue eyes holding me captive. As he wasn’t passing through people, I could only assume that this time, he wasn’t a figment of my imagination.

I tried straightening to meet his piercing gaze, only to suck in a strangled breath. The nest of birds had gathered around my heart, poking and prodding it to take a leap right out of my chest. Anything to be near him.

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