Page 72 of Wait For It

“Knock, knock,” the puppy lady called from the doorway. “How are we doing in here?”

I wrenched my mouth from Ari’s with a confused pant, before dropping my hand down to hide the baseball bat in my sweatpants. “F-fine.”

It was not fine.I’d been seconds away from slipping my hands into the pants of a woman who, up until three minutes ago, had never been kissed.

The puppy lady entered and I reached for my crutches, stumbling from the bed like a drunk. “Just remembered—late night, uh, icing. With Rocky—he’s my therapist. Guy’s a little different, but nice enough, you know?”

I was rambling.

Ari tore her gaze away from my erection and reached up to touch her lips, a strange expression passing over her face. “Okay?”

Grief.

I felt it too.

The loss of something too complicated to put into words. It left me aching over the distance I’d put between us. I wanted to be close enough to breathe the same air that Ari was, but I couldn’t stay, at least not in my current state.

And now I remembered why I’d been holding myself back. My past was filled with mistakes. I wouldn’t let her become one of them by rushing things. If she’d never been kissed before now, I could only assume she was still a virgin. I wasn’t willing to take anything she wasn’t ready to give.

Ari deserved the best version of Killian Reed, and that was what she was going to get.

Just as soon as I dealt with my dick.

Somehow, I managed to make it back to my room without exploding and leaned against the door frame, fighting to catch my breath.

Her first.

Mine.

I stumbled toward the bed, blaming my limited vocabulary on the lack of blood flowing to my brain and not some sort of regression into a knuckle-dragging caveman.

There were times Ari looked up at me, and I saw a woman with only one thing on her mind. Just as quickly as it was there, it was gone again, replaced with wide-eyed innocence.

I closed my eyes, seeing the briefest flash of a face backlit by the setting sun. The angel who’d saved me. But, instead of a blurred face hovering over me, it was Ari. The rays of light caught her hair, illuminating every strand of red until it appeared to be glowing. Waves lapped against the shore, but I was focused solely on her.

Ignoring a brief twinge of protest from my knee, I shoved my hand into the front of my sweats before diving headfirst into my fantasy.

Need slammed into me. I stroked my cock, envisioning the feel of Ari’s long hair brushing against the tops of my thighs while she rode me. How she’d cover her mouth to stifle her moans, her hips bucking forward involuntarily, seeking me out.

It was too much. I quickly lost control with a shuddered growl, dampening my hand and stomach. The sounds of my ragged breathing filtered into my semi-conscious state, delivering a healthy dose of reality.

I was fucked.

Not physically, no. Physically, I was spent and ready for sleep. Emotionally, however, I wasn’t faring quite as well. Kissing Ari tonight had only made me want her more, and deep down, I knew that no fantasy would come close to alleviating the ache in my chest.

Did people cherish her back home? Did they feel the emptiness without her there?

I did, and she was just across the hall.

Chapter Fifteen

Killian

“There are no whys in a person’s life, and very few hows. In the end, in search of useful wisdom, you could only come back to the most hackneyed concepts, like kindness, forbearance, infinite patience. Solomon and Lincoln: This too shall pass. Damn right it will. Or Chekhov: Nothing passes. Equally true.”

-Chad Harbach,The Art of Fielding

“Eh,did I call it, or did I call it?” Theo tapped the stack of papers with a self-satisfied smirk. “Philly, Chicago, Anaheim, Tampa, DC, Boston—take your pick. You want sun or snow? Me, personally, I’d go with sun.”

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