Page 57 of Wait For It

In hindsight, trusting the night aide, Sierra, to keep a secret hadn’t been my best idea. I didn’t know what to do—feign ignorance and hope she didn’t tell anyone, or come clean and hope she didn’t tell anyone?

I licked my lips and took a deep breath just as Georgia called, “Come in!”

Tsega turned her hand against her lips before dropping the imaginary key into the pocket of her scrubs. “Your secret is safe with me.”

I nodded, grateful that I had at least one thing working in my favor.

Georgia’s room was the only place I knew to go where I didn’t run the risk of another awkward run-in. My suspicion that Killian was avoiding me was confirmed when he saw me in the hallway, frowned, and then made a hobbled beeline in the opposite direction.

Clearly, I’d made a mess of everything.

Georgia was reclining in an oversized chair near the television, flipping through a magazine. Her hand lifted in a brief wave when we entered before she sat up to jot something down in a small notebook. “Oh, hello, girls. What brings you here?”

I peered down at the colorful pages spread across her lap before grabbing my notebook. The scenery changed from one photo to the next, but there were smiling faces in every one.

What are you doing?

Georgia reached out for me, and I wheeled myself closer. “Still haven’t found your voice, dear? I was just certain last night would have been a turning point for you.”

I shook my head, my face heating in shame.

As if she was the embodiment of happiness, the sides of Georgia’s mouth stretched wide. “This is for my trip. My hip injury set me back a few months—word of advice, don’t let anyone tell you that skiing is something that just comes back to you, because it’s not. Had to learn that the hard way, dear. Anywho, now that you’re here, would you like to help?”

I hesitated as she passed a magazine over.

But I don’t know where you want to go.

“Oh, everywhere, dear,” she answered readily. “I want to see the northern lights from a glass igloo in Finland… feast on Danish pastries on the island of Aero in Denmark… discuss the principles of Buddhism at a monastery in Thailand. I am not going to miss a single thing this world has to offer.”

I imagined my mouth was hanging open in shock. Everything Georgia had just described sounded too good to be true.

“What about you? What is it you want to see?” She tapped the magazine. “Go on, take a look.”

After flipping through several pages, I finally settled on a picturesque village surrounded by mountains and water.

This.

She looked it over. “Ah, The Lofoten Islands in Norway. Can you imagine—staying in a little cottage near the water and eating fresh fish for dinner every night?”

Georgia added something to her notebook with a dreamy expression, as if she could clearly envision herself doing just that. Meanwhile, I couldn’t see myself anywhere but inside the church, and that frustrated me.

I swallowed and cleared my throat to get her attention.

Last night you said that Helen focused too much on the rules.

“I also said she was quite a piece of work, but it’s true. She’s hung up on the way things used to be done, while people your age live in an age of instant gratification.”

Which way is right?

Georgia patted my knee. “No one can decide that but you, Ariana. I imagine you could drive yourself mad, trying to compare the two. The best thing to do is just to be yourself and let the rest sort itself out.”

My pen dug into the paper.

That’s just it. You saw me last night. I think it’s pretty clear that being myself doesn’t work. He’s a baseball player, and I’m—

A hostage of my faith.

A nobody. As much as I want to be myself, it’s not that simple. I’m not good enough as-is.”

---