Page 126 of Wait For It

“And?” I challenged, trying to make my tone seem indifferent as my heart began to beat wildly in my chest. “Where was I going?”

He lifted a shoulder. “I don’t know that—”

Of course not.

“What kind of a security guard are you?” I interrupted with a sigh, unable to hide my frustration. “And you want me to trust you? You work for Tristan. For all I know, you were the one responsible for my ‘accident.’”

He watched my tirade with a lifted brow before admitting, “I was tasked with keeping you safe, and I’ve failed twice now. I don’t intend to fail again.”

“By whom?” I argued, my chin raised. “Tristan? Nice try, but the good pastor doesn’t care about my safety, as evidenced by… well, I guess my entire life.”

Dean cut his eyes over to me in a quick glance before crossing the street, effectively ending our conversation.

“Seriously?” I complained as I reluctantly followed, my mind weighed down with more questions than answers. If he wasn’t operating under Tristan’s orders, then who was he working for? Where was he taking me? Was any of it going to save Killian?

Until he was willing to talk, I could only speculate.

A twig snapped beneath my shoe, and I realized we were following the same path I’d taken the day I saved Killian.

We reached the clearing, and I brought a hand up over my mouth, tensing against the memories washing up along the shore. I’d spent the first couple of years with my nose pressed to the window in the library, searching for his face among the colorful blurs dotting the water. After a while, it became too painful to look, a dark reminder of a life I’d never have.

“Ten minutes, and then we have to go.”

I lifted my eyes with a frown. “But you still haven’t told me why we’re out here.”

“Ariana.” Dean pointed behind me, his dark eyes sparkling with amusement. “Ten minutes. I’ll be right over there, waiting for you.”

Someone had fixed up the old dock, adding lights and a railing on either side. I sucked in a breath when I saw the man looking out over the water, and my mind fell silent for the first time in days.

Killian.

Less than ten feet away from me.

I wanted to run to him, but something in the hard set of his jaw told me I couldn’t. Instead, I dragged my feet over the sand, every bit the peasant girl who’d fallen in love with a prince.

Two different worlds—I’d known it then, but I felt it now.

He didn’t look up when I stepped onto the dock, just continued watching the lazy ripples along the surface of the lake. The hood of his jacket hid his profile, but I’d seen the unshaven dishevelment as I approached. I wondered when he’d last slept or eaten something of substance but kept the questions to myself.

My footsteps faltered when I reached his side. I lifted my hand, aching to touch him, to make him real again. For several seconds, my fingers dangled in the air between us, but then his shoulders rounded, snuffing the dying embers of hope from my chest.

“I can’t look at you, Ari,” he quietly admitted, his body bristling with tension. “If I do, I’ll forget what I came here to say.”

Killian wasn’t mine—not anymore.

I lowered my hand back to my side, feeling the water close in, pulling my body down into its dark depths. This entire time, I’d been holding my breath. For him. I opened my mouth and exhaled, the swarm of bubbles tickling my nose as they drifted up. I watched them go, racing toward the light shimmering along the surface, but I’d never belonged up there.

It grew colder as I sank, seeping into my bones and bearing down on my heart. Where I expected death, I continued drawing shallow breaths, as if some unseen force beyond explanation was keeping me alive.

Just one more choice that wasn’t mine to make.

“I feel stupid, you know?” he mused bitterly to the water. “The fucking fool who’d let himself believe that maybe there really was a God—some higher power who broke me, so I’d find you.”

“And now?” I choked on the words, searching for the smallest hint that the man who’d loved me was still in there.

Loved.

Past tense.

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