Page 90 of Through the Water

“Will and I were so young, Ariana, and we fell in love quickly. My mother warned me it wouldn’t last, but I knew better—”

I released the breath I’d been holding. “But how did you know?”

It was the very thing I kept coming back to. Despite all the books I’d read and a kiss that would be forever ingrained in my memory, it felt like there was something I was missing.

How could a person willingly hand their heart over to someone else without a guarantee that it wouldn’t get broken?

Georgia considered my question. “Well, I can’t pinpoint a specific instance where I knew, but it was how he made me feel. When I was with him, I came alive. Most people considered me shy back then, but with Will in the room, it was like flipping a switch. I’d ramble about any and everything.”

“What about your fiancé?” Tsega crossed her arms over her chest. “Does he make you feel like that?”

It was apparent the two of them were setting me up to reveal something, but I didn’t question it. Instead, I forced myself to think of Brad, trying to determine if he’d ever made me feel alive. I’d been left feeling disgusted plenty of times, but never once had I become a more vibrant version of myself in his presence.

Only with Killian.

It had only ever been with Killian.

Georgia moved her wrinkled hand up to cover mine. “You seem troubled. I hope I haven’t upset you.”

I shook my head. “It’s just that I don’t know that I’ve ever met someone who makes me feel what you’re describing.”

Another lie.

I’d told so many now that it was becoming a struggle to keep them all straight.

“You know, neither had I until he came along. I’d met men who were nice enough, but they didn’t make me feel here.”

She released my hand, placing her palm over my chest. “You know that feeling when your heart is pumping violently against your ribs, reminding you that you’re alive? That’s how it was with Will. I hadn’t gone to college or anything like that. But just being around him filled me with a sense of purpose. Like maybe I’d been made to be his.”

I closed my eyes, swallowing against the sudden pang of loss. But, if I was honest with myself, Killian had never truly been mine. Maybe the signs were nothing more than the fantasies of an overactive imagination.

But for a brief moment in time, I’d been given a glimpse of what it was like to feel protected and safe. It might have been a mere fraction of what Georgia had with Will, but I was grateful for the experience. I couldn’t be selfish enough to demand anything more.

“Ariana,” Tsega said softly. “You don’t love him—”

They were going to ruin everything.

I pushed Georgia’s hand away and stood, glad I’d insisted on leaving the wheelchair back in my room. “Did Tiffani tell you this? Is that what I am to you—some form of gossip at the nurse’s station? Did you ever stop to consider that I might have feelings of my own—”

“Oh, for the love of Pete, sit down, Ariana!” Georgia snapped, pointing at the empty chair. “Not one person in this room is a gossip, but we are worried about you.”

“You haven’t been yourself since the seizure,” Tsega added. “We saw the way you were with Killian, Ariana. You love him, and he loves you. I’m just not sure he knows it yet. Life isn’t perfect. The stars seldom align, but when they do, you grab on with both hands and don’t let go.”

“He doesn’t love me,” I choked, refusing to let the sudden shoot of hope pierce my heart. “If he did, he never would have left. Brad is the man I’m meant to be with, so stop looking for things that aren’t there.”

Tsega looked to Georgia for back up. The older woman sighed. “Do you think we haven’t heard the rumors about the church’s little gated community—the whispers that the pastor’s daughters are nothing more than slaves?”

“You’re wrong.” My voice faded, and I sank down onto the chair, no longer able to stand. People could suspect that things weren’t right, but there would never be any proof.

And, even if I were inclined to take a ghost’s advice and speak out against the church, my sisters would stick to the narrative they’d been spoon-fed since birth.

I’d be labeled a liar, and then Tristan would ensure that I never left my cage again.

“Just help us understand why you’re marrying that man,” Tsega pleaded, moving beside me. “Is it because Killian left, and you feel you have no other choice? Was he going to help you?”

No one could help me.

My eyes stung with anger and shame, but I kept the tears at bay long enough to quietly confess, “I only agreed to the marriage so he wouldn’t look into Killian. I thought if I gave myself up that he’d back off and I could find a way out of it—find a way to escape. But it’s hopeless. He’s always going to be one step ahead of me.”

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