Page 67 of Through the Water

I couldn’t change what happened, but I could damn well ensure that everyone here knew I wasn’t fucking around when it came to her.

* * *

I was empty-handed when I knocked on Ari’s door a little later that afternoon. There were no carefully rehearsed speeches tucked away in my pocket. No words would fix what had already been done.

Kinda like trying to put the toothpaste back into the tube once it was out, it would just make a bigger mess.

Apologies only worked when there was a marked change in behavior. Otherwise, they were just pretty words that meant nothing. It was time to suck it up and let the chips fall where they may.

Granted, I wasn’t physically opposed to groveling on my knees if needed. Theoretically, of course, as I was still non-weight-bearing.

Strange, I never thought I’d live to see the day I’d be willing to sacrifice anything for a woman—but Ari wasn’t just some woman.

Not that there was a chance in hell of me ever admitting it, but Bailey had called it.

My teammate had seen in one evening what I’d missed in weeks. I might have been good at reading people in baseball but hadn’t even cracked the spine on her. She wasn’t like the rest of them. And maybe if I hadn’t been so damn cynical, I would have realized it sooner.

Tsega gave me a cursory glance when she opened the door before shaking her head. She was like a guard dog, which I appreciated. Ari needed someone who did the right thing for her. “Now’s not really a good time—”

“I won’t stay long,” I interjected, catching the closing door with my right foot. “Look, I heard what happened. I came to see how she was doing.”

“You want to know how she’s doing?” she hissed. “See for yourself.”

The cryptic response came out sounding more like a warning rather than an invitation to enter, but I was just desperate enough to overlook it.

Ari lay with her back to me, facing the window. Her arms were tucked beneath her chin, making her appear much smaller than she was. I assumed she was sleeping until she sucked in a ragged breath.

Hearing her cry demolished the last of my control, and I didn’t think. I couldn’t. By the time I stopped to consider how it might look, the crutches were already forgotten on the floor, and she was wrapped up in my arms.

“I’ve got you,” I murmured into her hair. “I’ve got you.”

She hiccuped against my chest, gripping handfuls of my t-shirt before releasing another anguished sob. The raw sound shredded barriers I hadn’t even known existed. I felt the depths of her pain as keenly as my own.

The truth was like a fastball between the eyes. I might have had feelings for this woman, but I would never deserve someone like her in this lifetime.

Maybe not even in a million lifetimes.

“I spoke to the director. They’re transferring Helen to Oak Lake. She won’t hurt you ever again—”

Ari lifted her chin to meet my eyes. “Why?” The word came out like a strangled gasp, and she touched her throat before repeating, “Why would you do that?”

This was no whisper, either. I heard Ari loud and clear, in a voice almost as familiar to me as her face. Even Tsega seemed to be fighting surprise, although she quickly channeled it into a stoic expression.

“She speaks,” I chuckled, keeping one hand tangled up in her loose hair and the other firmly around her shoulder as if afraid she was going to disappear on me.

“Why did you do it, Killian?” Her chest heaved, but she held the sob back, pressing her cheek to my chest. “I’m not Terry, and you’re not Nickie! I’m not a good person, don’t you see that?”

Who?

Tsega cracked a rare grin. “It’s a movie with Cary Grant—you know what, it’s not important.”

“You were given bad advice, Ari. It doesn’t make you a bad person.” I remarked as I stroked her shoulder blade with my thumb. “Nothing could be farther from the truth.”

“What, um, what exactly prompted your little visit with the director?” Tsega asked in a tight voice.

If I wasn’t mistaken, the aide seemed a little nervous.

I placed my hand on Ari’s cheek and lifted her face to mine. “I did it for you. You don’t deserve a quarter of the bullshit that woman put you through. And pretending to be an expert on relationships? Please, I doubt the old bat would know what do with a man if one came right up and kissed her.”

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