Page 63 of Through the Water

More than I’d ever wanted anything.

“Imagine if Nickie had given up on Terry when she didn’t show up at the Empire State Building,” Georgia said with a thoughtful frown. “If the movie had ended with him assuming she was avoiding him or had changed her mind.”

I don’t know Terry or Nickie, for that matter.

At least, I didn’t think I did. Maybe they were the people she’d been sitting with at dinner before rescuing me from myself.

The woman scoffed. “An Affair to Remember, Ariana! Surely you know one of the most romantic movies of all time?”

I shook my head, skeptical that a movie fitting my circumstances even existed. It didn’t exactly seem like a standard plotline.

“Oh, dear. Well, we are going to remedy that right now. I know they’ve got it in the video library downstairs. Tsega, dear, please tell me you’ve seen it.”

She looked almost guilty as she shook her head. “I don’t really watch a lot of television.”

“Girls!” Georgia all but roared with a grin. “How do you expect to find love if you aren’t brushing up on the classics? They’re practically how-to guides. Just maybe don’t rely on them for fashion advice, right Ariana?”

I cringed. It seemed I wouldn’t be living that down anytime soon.

* * *

One trip to the library, and two hours later, the three of us sat sniffling our way through the end credits.

“You see—” Georgia tried before hiccuping. “I just—”

I clenched her hand in mine and nodded, knowing exactly what she meant. While the only similarity between Killian and Nickie was the fact that they were both well-known—one for baseball, the other for his love of women—the story resonated, nonetheless.

“Isn’t it just magical? ‘If you can paint, I can walk.’” She clutched her chest and fell back dramatically in the chair. “In case either of you were wondering, that was a swoon and not some medical emergency.”

Tsega brushed away the tears on her cheeks with a grin. “I think we caught on to that, Georgia.”

“Good. Good. Now, Ariana. Instead of fixating on how you don’t feel as if you belong in Killian’s world, have you considered things from his perspective? He’s surrounded by actors every day. How refreshing would it be to spend time with someone who didn’t want something from him? Someone who wasn’t using him?”

I fiddled with my necklace before giving her a reluctant nod. Inside, I was being eaten up with guilt. I’d wanted to use Killian as a means of escape. At least I had in the beginning.

She yawned and stretched her arms overhead. “Now that I’ve had a nice cry, I require a nap. And you—you’re going to be yourself, and then you’re going to go get your Nickie!”

Be myself.

Tsega wheeled me down the hall, slowing as she neared Killian’s door. “You want to knock, or should I?”

I pointed to my temple and winced, my eyes flooding with fresh tears.

“Oh, Ari,” she sighed. “Today has just been too much. Let’s get back to the room and rest.”

God help me, it was a lie.

The real Ariana was a fraud—no better than the other actors. Just because I’d changed my mind before I could go through with it didn’t give me an automatic second chance. Maybe my penance would be feeling this ache in my chest every time I saw him.

As I looked at Killian’s door, I thought of Terry, trying to explain to Nickie how she’d gotten into an accident as she rushed to meet him at the Empire State Building.

‘Oh, it’s nobody’s fault but my own! I was looking up... it was the nearest thing to heaven! You were there…’

The nearest thing to heaven…

He was—but just as out of reach.

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