Page 137 of Through the Water

Broken.

Because of me.

“I want you to have to stand in the spot where you saved me and explain why you lied. I want to ruin this place for you, so you can’t come back without remembering tonight. I want to rip you apart like you’ve done me.”

“You’re scaring me,” I whispered, turning back to the water.

“Good. Now you know what it feels like.” The dock creaked as he leaned in to deposit my necklace on the railing, before pulling away again. “I think this is yours.”

He could have just as easily launched it into the water but hadn’t because he wasn’t a bad person.

“I’m sorry,” I said quietly, scooping the necklace into my palm and tucking it into my pocket. There was nothing left for me to say because my words meant nothing. I meant nothing.

Little waves splashed against the same wooden pilings that had held his body ten years ago. As I peered down into the lake, I was almost convinced I’d find him there again, but the murky water gave nothing away.

My heart had been racing for the past forty-eight hours, stuck in an endless loop of fight or flight. Now, weakened by hunger and exhaustion, I found myself contemplating suicide. It was a solution I hadn’t considered, but the only one that would save us both. Killian would keep his career, and I’d finally be free.

The water was freezing, I doubted I’d be able to last more than fifteen minutes. It’d be fitting, really, to sacrifice myself in the same spot I saved him. Like I was exchanging my life for his, setting things right. Maybe the good parts of me were still down there, caught under the dock, awaiting my return.

Would my body surrender easily, or continue to fight to stay alive because it was all I’d ever known?

I gripped the railing in my hands until my knuckles went white under the bright lights, wondering if there was courage in giving up.

He took a deep breath, close enough that it lifted several strands of hair from my braid. When he spoke again, his voice was low and taunting. “You’re sorry? For which part—lying about being engaged or accusing me of rape? I just want to be sure I have it right for my lawyers.”

I released a strangled breath, unable to fight the tears coursing down my cheeks. The silent sobs were a depth of pain beyond measure, a frequency of grief humans weren’t capable of hearing.

Killian’s arms moved on either side of mine, caging me. “Maybe you’re sorry for kissing me. Or for not being able to fake it when I made you come. I wonder if Brad will be able to do the same for you,” he slurred, letting the short bristles of hair on his jaw scrape over my neck. He was mocking me, not only with his words but his body as well.

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block out the nothingness in his voice—the memories of a time when his body against mine wasn’t a threat.

Self-preservation pierced the numbness in my chest, and I turned to look back over my shoulder at him. “I think I want to go now.”

Neither one of us was leaving here a winner.

He threw his head back with a low growl. “Not until you tell me why you’re doing this.”

“You’ve already decided I’m guilty, Killian,” I ground out. “What else is there to say?”

“I don’t know, Ariana. Maybe start by telling me why you’re accusing me of rape!” He slammed his fist against the railing, just inches from my hand. “Christ, how could you? I fucking let you in—told you things I’ve never told anyone!”

I flinched in response, which only seemed to anger him further.

“Goddammit, answer me!” He grasped my wrist, pulling me to face him. “Just tell me—”

Rule number one- answer me when I ask you a question.

I hissed in pain and brought my other hand up to his chest, pushing him away. “I’m sorry—please be gentle with me!” I sobbed. “Please! I’m so sorry!”

It only hurts if you let it…

Killian released me immediately and stumbled back. I briefly registered the flash of movement from the corner of my eye, and then Dean was in between us.

The security guard held Killian against the railing, breathing normally as if he hadn’t just crossed the beach with superhuman speed. He gave me a once-over before asking, “You okay?”

I nodded and tugged the sleeves of my v-neck sweater down over my trembling hands. “C-c-can we just have a m-m-minute?”

“You sure? I don’t mind staying—”

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