Page 91 of Protector

Long blades of grass tickled the tops of my feet as I stood frozen in their front yard. Numbness settled like a blanket around my shoulders, almost convincing me that I was doing the right thing.

“I just don’t want to say goodbye!” Dakota wailed in despair, clenching the bodice of my dress in her fists, and I realized that this was my point of no return. By walking away, I would forever be a villain in her book.

Their memories would be overwritten with the narrative that their mother had chosen gambling over her own children. A single line that would sum up what they thought of me.

All because I hadn’t known how to defeat the very people who should’ve loved me like I loved those two little girls. I pressed a kiss to blonde hair drenched in tears, as my father ripped her from my arms.

Her screams of despair echoed all around me, piercing my armor and leaving me fighting to stay on my feet as I climbed back into my car.

Alone.

A masochist until the very end, I forced the car into drive and lifted my eyes to the rearview mirror; watching as Kate buried her face against my mother’s neck, unable to look at me for a moment longer.

I was convinced nothing would pierce the veil of darkness that had settled around my heart until Dakota lifted her tear-streaked face and reached her hands out for me. A pained scream broke free from my chest, and I collapsed against the steering wheel in a fit of crippling sobs.

I’d left my babies on that porch, along with what remained of Celia Quinn.

Chapter Eighteen

Grey: 2009

It was just after three in the morning when I turned off toward the orchard. The dark thoughts that had been running through my head only seemed to intensify as I hit the end of the driveway, and I killed my bike before walking it toward the house.

Maybe the extra time alone would give me a solution to the problems that kept stacking up.

“You were gone a while,” Celia said from the porch swing.

The sound of her voice sent my heartbeat racing, to the point that I expected it to burst from my chest. “Jesus, Celia. You tryin’ to give me a heart attack?”

“You’re the one sneaking up to the house like a kid that missed curfew.”

I popped the kickstand on the bike and joined her on the porch. “Fair enough. Why you up so late?”

“Couldn’t sleep. Did you find any underground games?”

“No,” I lied.

Cobra and Hawk could wait.

The nightmares that Celia had fought so hard to overcome had returned with a vengeance since we lost our girls.

Every second I’d spent fixing up the farmhouse, I imagined what it would be like to have my girls with me. Since that afternoon in the orchard, things had felt like they were moving too quickly, but my plan had always been to propose again.

I was going to get down on one knee; do it right the second time around.

The ring had felt like it was burning a hole in my pocket, but the timing never seemed to be right. I didn’t want Celia distracted with finding Cobra and Hawk or worried about the girls having to switch schools.

It didn’t matter though.

Norma stepped in and ripped the life we were supposed to have away from us, and the house that I’d moved us into when Celia was pregnant with Kate turned into a graveyard of bad memories, sending her spiraling out of control.

There was no proposal… no ring.

I called the club in, and we packed it up before moving her out to the farmhouse. At first, she’d managed to keep the attacks at bay by staying busy with repainting and decorating.

I’d thought she was getting better.

Until she proudly led me into the spare bedroom one evening, and I realized the majority of her efforts had been spent recreating the girls’ bedroom from the previous house.

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