Page 71 of Protector

“Kiss me.”

His hands came up around my backside, and I took pleasure in watching as his eyes widened when he realized I wasn’t wearing panties.

“Celia—”

I silenced his objections with my lips, relishing in the feel of his hands digging into my soft flesh as he pulled me closer with a rough growl. His body was hard beneath mine, and I rocked against him with a groan before tangling my fists in his hair.

When I nipped his lower lip, sucking it between my teeth, his hand came down hard against my backside with a reverberating smack. I let my head fall back with a loud exhale, knowing without a doubt that I had just soaked the front of his jeans.

As if I hadn’t already been wet.

His thumbs pressed into my skin, and I realized he wasn’t drawing me in, he was pushing me away.

“I’ll be right back.” He shifted me over to the middle couch cushion and disappeared down the hall, leaving me painfully aroused and thoroughly confused.

“Jamie?”

The bathroom door slammed shut in response, and I ran my fingers over my puffy lips, trying to determine where I’d gone wrong.

I hadn’t been intimate with him in five years, but I was reasonably certain that I hadn’t lost my touch. Lightning arced across the sky, and I drummed my fingers idly against the back of the couch, watching the raindrops race each other down the glass.

We were together in the middle of nowhere for the entire weekend, and I didn’t want to waste another second apart. I stood up and stripped the t-shirt over my head before stalking down the hall, the sounds of running water growing louder the closer I got to the bathroom.

Praying he hadn’t decided to lock the door; I turned the handle and breathed a small sigh of relief when it opened. Steam billowed out from the top of the small glass shower, and I leaned against the vanity, watching as the hot water cascaded over his muscles. Muscles that hadn’t come from a gym, but from breaking down men like Manny.

I’d seen a small preview of his strength in the motel, and it had left me with a fluttering in my chest and a strong desire to run my hands over him in reverence.

He slapped a palm against the tile while the other moved furiously up and down his shaft. “Celia,” he whispered, letting his forehead drop down. “Fuck.”

I kept my eyes on him as my own hand moved in between my legs. The feelings of disgust that would’ve welled up normally, leaving me nauseated, were gone. My teeth sank down onto my lower lip as I circled my clit, wishing it was his fingers touching me.

With a deep breath for courage, I pushed off the counter and stepped into the shower with him.

“Celia.” His hand fell away, and he backed into the corner, trapped. “I can’t.”

Water ran into my eyes, and I blinked against it before gesturing toward him. “It looks like you can. Why are you running from me?”

“I can’t be soft with you, princess. And that’s what you need—”

I lowered myself to my knees and looked up from beneath my lashes before reaching for him. “What I need is you.”

He shook his head and tried to step around me, but I moved, wrapping my hand around his shaft with a gentle squeeze.

“Fuck, you gotta stop.”

My tongue darted out to lick the moisture beading along the tip. I knew he’d never force me; maybe that was what had my body in flames with desire. “Please.”

“Stop—I can’t.”

I pulled back and let him help me to my feet. He tried reaching around me to shut off the water, but I stopped him with my arm. “Wait. Just hear me out, please.”

I fought against my own fears to admit, “My body healed physically, but I still have the memories of what they did to me that night, Jamie. I still feel them inside me, and those scars don’t fade. Please don’t push me away.”

He swallowed and nodded. “I ain’t been with any woman since you. Do you know how many times I’ve jerked myself to thoughts of your body, only to feel sick after? I read the books and as much as I fuckin’ wish it was, it ain’t me that you need.”

I brushed the water from his beard and moved until my breasts were up against his chest, pushing my body for a reaction.

Safe.

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