Page 63 of Protector

She nodded, and it dawned on me that I’d just revealed the monster and she hadn’t run. If anything, her grip on my hand had gotten tighter. She lowered her head toward her lap before looking up at me from under her lashes. “What was it like?”

“I was just a scared kid—”

“No.” She shook her head. “What did it feel like to hit him?”

“It felt really fuckin’ good,” I admitted. “That was when I realized there was somethin’ wrong with my brain.”

Her fingers moved underneath my chin, bringing my eyes up to meet hers. “Wrong how?”

“I liked killin’, princess. I still love it. Ain’t no other high quite like it.”

Her throat bobbed up and down in a swallow, and I knew I’d said too much. She was going to throw me out, and I couldn’t say I blamed her.

“I feel that too,” she quietly admitted, and my heart damn near stopped. “I can’t stop thinking about the night I went after Manny, and how good it felt to be in control. Sometimes, I dream about killing him. Like, if you hadn’t shown up…”

“Someday, I’ll teach you everything I know.” I wasn’t ready to admit that Manny was still alive.

Not yet.

Celia’s head jerked back in shock. “You will?”

I gnawed at the corner of my lip and nodded. “You got just as much reason to go after these guys as I do.”

Maybe it was all the result of trauma. I’d been turned into a monster because of what happened to my mother, and Celia had been turned into one because of me and my actions.

To survive, we needed each other.

“What does that mean exactly?”

“It means…” I brought her fingers up to my mouth, placing a kiss against each knuckle. “That when the time is right, I’ll teach you how to kill a man properly.”

She moved her hand behind my neck, trying to bring my mouth up to hers, but I pulled away, pressing my lips to her forehead instead.

When I released her hands and stood up, she let out a soft sigh of disappointment. I turned away, fighting a smile because it wasn’t what she thought.

My wife was still wearing her wedding ring; I would’ve missed it had the diamond not scraped against my neck. She hadn’t had it on that night at the motel.

It was a sign.

That she hadn’t given up on me.

On us.

If I wanted to see it on her finger for the rest of my life, then I had to be different. I couldn’t go after her like I had before; using her body to satisfy my own needs.

Until there were no more secrets between us, I’d hold back on what I wanted and just focus on helping her heal.

She needed me to be her rock.

Her protector.

Chapter Thirteen

Celia: 2005

Istubbed my toe on the small stereo sitting in the middle of the living room floor and muttered a soft curse. “Kate! You can’t just leave your stuff lying on the floor. It’s going to get broken!”

She looked up from the magazine in her hand with a roll of her eyes, and coldly replied, “I’m listening to it.”

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