Page 42 of Protector

My blood ran cold, and I paused, hovering over a sink full of dishes with a coffee mug in my hand. “N-November nineteenth?”

Saying the words aloud did nothing to calm my fears. If anything, it only made them more real.

Molly nodded slowly before gasping in recognition. “Oh my god, sweetie, I didn’t even put two and two together. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. It just surprised me. That’s all.” My hands moved the dishrag over the mug as if on autopilot.

Four years.

The money they’d taken from me had been more than enough to keep them off the radar. They were still out there; and despite the club’s best efforts, we were still no closer to finding them.

Our baby would’ve turned three in July, and I found myself wondering if he or she would’ve had Jamie’s blue eyes or my green ones. It was devastating, losing a child so early into a pregnancy. There was no casket or urn; no stone monument that proclaimed my baby’s existence to the world.

No one had even known I was pregnant and, given that most of the people in my life thought Jamie was dead, it wasn’t as if I could talk about it.

So, I buried the secret deep down, along with the memory of what happened that night. I wanted to forget and move on, but every year, on July fourteenth, I found myself thinking about what kind of person our baby could’ve been.

Had that night never happened; would things have turned out differently? Would Jamie still have chosen to walk away from the club for good as my belly swelled with his child?

The sadistic part of my brain often chimed in, wondering if he would’ve stayed had he known about the miscarriage.

It wasn’t fair.

Everyone had moved on, but me.

A chill ran the length of my spine, urging me to run and hide. Instead, I placed the cup on the drying rack and forced my hands back into the murky water to retrieve a plate.

They weren’t coming back; I knew that.

They’d gotten what they came for.

At the noise behind me, I let the plate slip from my hands and back into the water with a small shriek. My fingers closed around the only weapon I was going to find.

“Mama!” Kate stepped back with a cry of alarm, eyes welling up with tears. “It’s me! I just needed a drink!”

Suds dripped from the edge of the steak knife onto the floor, but I refused to let it go.

“Celia?” Molly wrapped an arm around my shoulders and led me away from the sink. “Your mama is just exhausted, Kate. We need to get her to bed.”

Kate nodded shakily, keeping an eye on me as she found and filled a glass with water. “Goodnight, Mama. Goodnight, Molly.”

Molly kissed the top of her head. “Goodnight, sweet girl.”

I released my death grip on the handle and placed it on the counter. Even knowing that I was safe, I made sure that it was still within reach.

“Are you still going to class?”

“Yeah. Every Tuesday night,” I answered distractedly, keeping the knife in my sights.

“You ready to earn your blue belt yet?” She pushed. “Little Ricky finally promoted to green. Bear said it won’t be long now before he can take him on.”

My fingers twitched, aching for a weapon. “Yeah. I’m going to test soon. Are he and Bear getting along any better?”

She shrugged. “Depends on the day. I thought telling him about his real dad was a good idea. That side of the family had been dying to meet him, and it seemed like he was mature enough to handle it. Instead, it just drove a wedge between the two people I care about the most.”

“He’ll come around. He just needs time.”

“And what about you? What do you need?”

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