My breath came in short, panicked bursts, and I forced myself to turn away from her as my vision blurred. My nostrils flared with each measured exhale, but this time, there was no reining in my emotions.
Tears that had once been prayers now fell in apology for all the ways I’d failed her and my girls.
It had finally happened.
Past and present had collided, leaving me feeling as if I’d stepped out of my body; forced to watch helplessly as my wife bore the brunt of my sins.
I gasped and choked my way through my next breath, releasing the sob that had been lodged in my throat since I’d gotten the news. I’d made a similar sound the night Ma was killed.
Just like in my nightmare, I wanted to run; not from her, but to find the men responsible. Like some fucked up version of a Greek hero, I wanted to go to war for her before coming home to kneel at her feet; presenting the heads of our enemies like a goddamned offering.
I was no hero though.
And none of it would make a damn bit of difference after what she’d endured. We were a goddamn tragedy; there was no happy ending. There never had been.
I caught sight of my reflection in the vanity mirror and released my stranglehold on the bedpost.
“Jamie?”
Keeping my back to her, I nodded. “Yeah, princess?”
“The light’s making my head hurt.” Her voice cracked, right along with what was left of my heart.
Another tear ran down my face as I walked over to the window, but I swiped it away and took deep breaths until I felt like I was in control again. I wanted to drop to my knees and atone for my sins, but she didn’t need my shit on top of what she was already dealing with.
Lost in thought, I turned the wand on the blinds until the room darkened, ignoring the clicking sound until the damn thing snapped off in my hand. I laid it on the windowsill before glancing back to see if Celia had noticed.
“Are you leaving?” she finally asked, breaking the silence.
I flexed my fingers, debating my options. The monster in me craved a good hunt, but the broken woman in my bed called to my heart. “Need to find the men that did this to you, princess.”
“Right now, I just want you to lay with me.”
When I made no attempt to move away from the window, she added, “Please.”
I toed my boots off and climbed in next to her, pulling her back up against my chest. “I’m so sorry, baby,” I wept into her hair. “So fuckin’ sorry.”
She let out a soft exhale but didn’t move. It was if her body had given up the fight. When she finally spoke, her voice was no more than a whisper. “Tell me a story, Jamie. Something with a happy ending.”
I’d never been known for my stories. Sure, I’d vomit up the shit I’d read about in comic books over the years, but Celia had always been the storyteller.
“I, uh, I ever tell you how the club got its name?” I asked, pulling the comforter up over her shoulders. When she didn’t answer, I continued. “C’mon, princess, I figured with your Greek mythology smarts, you’d know all about this.”
The back of her head shifted against my collar bone as she looked up at me. “I know what a phoenix is, Jamie.”
“Yeah, Wolverine told me about them when I was a kid, but I wasn’t too impressed with a bird that lived for a few hundred years before burning up into nothing.” I waited for her to correct me, but she stayed silent, curled up against my body.
“He had to explain to me that when it burst into flames, it was reborn. Damn thing rises up from the ashes, stronger than before. Just like you, darlin’. These assholes think they’ve won, but the club’s gonna wipe ‘em out, just like anyone else who’s stood against us.”
“You can drive out a nest of snakes, but if you don’t kill every last one of them…” Celia’s voice trailed off in a soft exhale.
I froze. “Where’d you hear that?”
It was impossible.
We’d killed the Serpents; wiped out every last officer the night they took out Dragon. On the off-chance one of them had survived, why in the hell had they waited fourteen years for revenge?
Her lashes fluttered, and she lowered her gaze down to my chest. “Doesn’t matter. They took the money. You’ll never find them now.”