Page 108 of Protector

My shoulders shook as grief fought for a way out of my body, leaving behind a hoarse voice and a void that I’d never be able to fill.

“I told you about Slim before, remember? First time I met him, I was scared shi—to death. He was a lot bigger than I was, and some of those biker kids, they didn’t take well to newcomers.”

My vision blurred as I thought back to that afternoon. Donald had been drinking the hard stuff, and Ma and I had done everything we could to stay on his good side as he drove us down to the canyon. I thought I’d escaped a beating only to be dragged behind one of the buildings by an older boy just minutes after arriving.

I’d never been hit by another kid before that day, and I remembered touching the blood almost in shock as it ran from my nose. That was when I learned that it wasn’t just my old man I had to watch out for; it was anyone bigger than me.

I continued. “Slim walked up as another kid was beatin’ my a—butt, and I thought, ‘Here we go. This is how I die.’ I was convinced he was gettin’ in line to go next. Only he didn’t. He threw the kid off and helped me clean up my face; even gave me his shirt since mine got torn. Never mind that it was too big, and my ma knew almost immediately what had happened, that was just the kind of guy he was.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose and ground down on my molars, struggling to hold it together. “He knew exactly what he wanted in life but was never too busy to help someone who needed it. And, unlike me, he knew what to fight for and what to leave out to die.”

My body jerked painfully as I forced myself to say the words aloud. “I’m telling you this because—because Slim met the Reaper today, and I don’t know what happens after… but I like to think he’s somewhere up there with you. So, don’t you worry, you ain’t gonna be alone anymore. Slim’s gonna watch out for you and keep you safe until it’s my time.”

The ground began to vibrate beneath my feet, and for a second, I was sure that it was a sign from the other side.

I turned back to see a convoy of bikers coming down the road and swiped at my eyes, convinced I was imagining it. Clouds of dirt kicked up from underneath what had to be over a hundred bikes as they filed down the driveway, two by two.

Celia was standing on the front porch, with both hands covering her mouth and tears streaming down her face as I rounded the house.

I realized that I was still barefoot and wearing only a pair of jeans as I jogged up the steps toward her.

“You did this?”

Her eyes squeezed shut, and she nodded, shoulders curling over her chest.

I cut the distance between us and pulled her into my arms. “You got no idea how much this means—” my voice cracked as I swiped my thumbs under her eyes, catching her tears.

“You needed your brothers,” she whispered up at me. “Now, more than ever.”

Wolverine was the first one off his bike, pulling his sunglasses off to reveal bloodshot and swollen eyes. His boots thudded heavily against the wood as he made his way up the porch steps. “Jamie—” he ground out.

I nodded. “Wolverine.”

To anyone watching, it would’ve looked like nothing more than a casual greeting, but it ran so much deeper than that. Besides Slim, Wolverine was the only other man in my life that had given a damn; the only one to see me as anything other than a waste of space.

I couldn’t speak, but with him, I didn’t have to. With one word, he’d conveyed that he was beside me in the trenches. With one word, I’d let him know that I needed him to take the reins.

His nostrils flared as he squeezed my shoulder with a jerk of his head before stepping up to the railing. Once every bike was in front of the house, his voice filled the yard.

“We lost a brother today. John “Slim” Greene wasn’t just a Nomad. He was a father, a husband, and most importantly, a brother to any man who needed him. He wore his colors with pride until the very end, and we will continue his legacy by living like he did—with honor.”

He paused and mashed his lips together before looking to me. “Pres, I’ve reached out, and almost every chapter will be meetin’ up at certain points to ride in a funeral formation down south. Think it’d be right for you to ride between. Slim would’ve wanted it that way.”

My throat tightened, making it difficult to swallow. In funeral processions, one biker rode in the middle to represent the fallen biker. It was usually reserved for a close friend or family member.

I pinched my lower lip between my fingers and took a deep breath. “It don’t seem right to move on—to live in a world that he ain’t in. If he were here right now, there’s not a doubt in my mind that he’d tell me to harden the fuck up and quit my bitchin’.”

Several people chuckled, and I looked up toward the sky. “And I’ll do it because I know that’s what he would’ve wanted, but first, we’re gonna stand as a club and honor his memory by ridin’ down to be a support for his Ol’ Lady and son.”

Someone shouted, “Once a brother, always a brother!”

Celia came to stand at my side as another biker repeated it, slipping her hand into mine. It grew into a chant, and I wondered if Slim could hear us from wherever it was he’d gone.

Had he known the impact he had on people when he was alive?

Could he have even known the hole he was leaving behind with his death?

When I was a boy, I’d believed in heaven and hell. Times were simpler then—good people went to heaven, and bad people were taken to hell. If you were pure, you lived a long time, but if your soul was tainted like mine, you’d be struck down with the wrath of an angry god.