Page 133 of Deserter

Celia lowered the gun and clutched the counter with a belly laugh. “You?” she wheezed. “You think the neighbors are gonna open the door for you?”

I scratched along my jawline and frowned at her. “Why wouldn’t they? What’s wrong with me?”

“You look like Kid Rock’s older brother,” she giggled. When I continued staring her down, she hastily added, “But, your beard is still better than his.”

“Kid Rock, Celia? C’mon, you know me better than that. I would’ve gone with Morrison or Page.”

She gave me a wide-eyed look before dissolving into giggles again. “I’m sorry. I just keep picturing you ringing the doorbell and asking to be invited in for a cup of coffee and a chat.”

“A chat? What am I—Oprah? Quit tryin’ to change the subject and tell me what the fuck is goin’ on.”

“Okay, fine. Yes, the neighbor saw us that night and assumed I was a whore, but that’s not even what got me.” Her smile faded and she continued to gnaw at her lip. “Dakota wanted to know about her daddy because she can’t remember.”

My gut knotted and the heaviness returned to my chest. “She doesn’t know me?” It had been stupid to think I could waltz back into their lives and pick up where we left off. Dakota had been so young. “Does Kate? I mean, did she forget—”

“She never mentions you and I just assumed—well, it doesn’t matter what I assumed. After Dakota left, Kate came in and told me she sometimes dreams of you.” She swiped her fingers under her eyes. “She said it was hard because I didn’t talk about you anymore and it made her feel like she couldn’t either.”

“Celia.” I stared down at my boots and the marks they’d left against the porcelain of the tub. I opened my mouth again, ready to argue, but found I couldn’t.

Instead, I stepped over the side of the tub and went to her. Her eyes widened as I pulled her up into my chest, letting my head rest against the top of her head.

“Princess, you’ve been so brave and strong. It’s not fuckin’ fair.” Her body stiffened beneath my hands as I kissed her dark hair, still tangled from sleep. “I should’ve been here, and I know you’ll never forgive me for what I did—”

Celia pulled back before letting the strap of her nightgown fall from her shoulder. “We don’t have to talk.”

A rush of adrenaline surged through my body and I had to mentally talk my dick down. If I wanted her to see me differently, I had to act differently.

I wanted nothing more than to fuck her from behind while she watched my reflection in the bathroom mirror through hooded eyes. Sex was the one thing we’d mastered in ten years of marriage.

It wasn’t going to help my case now though.

If this was going to work, and I was going to come back permanently, then there needed to be something more than sex between us. I was going to have to do something I’d never done before; be her support system.

“Come here, darlin’.” I straightened the strap of her gown and guided her toward the bed. “Just lay with me, yeah?”

I sat down on the side of the bed and toed my boots off before climbing under the sheets and wrapping myself around her.

“You just want to lay here?” Her hand slipped between us, stroking the front of my jeans. “It doesn’t feel like you do.”

I resisted a groan and gently pulled her hand away. “Ain’t about that, princess,” I said in a strangled voice. “Just let me hold you.”

Celia’s body shifted up against mine and she let out a breath before relaxing. “I can’t even remember the last time I just laid next to you where we were both fully clothed. It’s weird.”

“Do you,” I hesitated. “Do you miss it?”

She rolled over until she was facing me. “If you’re asking if I miss you being here, I do.”

“We had some good times together, didn’t we?”

The light streaming in from the bathroom cast shadows across her face, but I didn’t miss the way her mouth turned up as she closed her eyes. “We did.”

“Remember that night in the laundry room? Jesus, Dakota couldn’t have been more than a couple months old—”

“No,” she cut in with a giggle. “You swore to never mention that again… like ever.”

I lowered my voice, recalling every detail. “What are you embarrassed about? I thought it was hot as fuck.”

I’d come home from a run early in the morning to find Celia was still awake and doing what had to have been her one hundredth load of laundry.

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