Page 129 of Deserter

“For how long?” His blue eyes looked away and I growled, “No. Tell me you’re joking.”

Jamie shifted against the plastic chair and began bouncing his leg. “Ain’t that simple, darlin’.”

I laughed, in spite of the fact that none of it was funny. “Yeah, I can’t imagine how hard it’s been for you—”

“Stop. I didn’t come here to fight.”

I let his words sink in before jumping up from the chair, ready to battle. “Then what did you come here for?” I hissed. “To twist the blade in a little deeper? To watch us fall apart all over again? What, Jamie? What is it that you want?”

My body shook as I held myself back, suddenly afraid of what I would do to him if I moved any closer. When he remained silent, his elbows resting against his knees, I turned away and stalked back toward the house.

“That’s what I thought,” I tossed over my shoulder. “You can show yourself out.”

In just a few short strides, he managed to close the distance between us and cornered me up against the bricks. He moved until his chest was against mine before letting his hands fall to either side of my head.

I was so much smaller, and any thoughts I’d had of taking him on myself seemed ridiculous as he towered over me. It didn’t mean I was going down without a fight though.

“Kate has panic attacks so bad she’s convinced she’s dying,” I forced out through stiff lips. “She made me box up all of her Spider-Man stuff and put it in the attic because it made her stomach hurt to look at it.”

Jamie inhaled deeply, but stayed silent, encouraging me to continue.

“I try to be brave for them during the day, but once they’re asleep at night, I fall apart. I sit in the shower and I cry; I cry until there are no tears left. You took every good thing I thought we could have together, and you threw it away.”

He shifted against me and his familiar smell filled my nostrils. I wanted to wrap myself up in it like a blanket until the hurting stopped.

“I told you that if you left us that I’d hate you forever, and I’ve tried. There were days where I even began to believe that I’d succeeded, but the minute you stepped under the porch light, I knew I failed.” I choked on the words before looking up at him, his blue eyes dark with pain.

“I will love you until I take my last breath, Jamie Quinn. That will be my cross to bear in this life. Maybe in the next one we’ll get it right.”

“Celia,” he murmured, letting his forehead drop down to rest against mine.

“I love you,” I whispered back. “But I will not let you hurt my girls any more than you already have. They can’t know you were here.”

“Please,” he begged. “Please just give me time and I can make this right.”

I shook my head. “No… you can’t. Not anymore.”

Chapter Twenty-Six

Grey: 2000

Irapped my knuckles against the door and cracked my neck.

The ride down had been a bitch, with the wind fighting against me at every turn. The west Texas dirt had sandblasted my exposed skin and, even with the bandana over my face, I knew I was going to be picking grit out of my teeth for weeks to come.

Two separate cloudbursts had popped up outside of Waco, pelting me with pea-sized hail and drenching my clothes.

My ass had fallen asleep near College Station, but the rest of my muscles remained rigid, fighting to keep me warm. I was going to have one hell of a backache in the morning.

“You look like shit,” Slim noted with a grin as he threw open the door. “How was the ride?”

“Cold. Wet. Overall, pretty fuckin’ miserable.”

“Looks like it. Get cleaned up and I’ll get us a couple beers.”

I looked around the empty den. “Where’d Lou and David go?”

He leaned against the doorway that led into the kitchen. “Lou’s at a church thing and David got his own place.” He clicked his tongue against his teeth and jerked his thumb toward the back of the house. “Garage apartment. Said he was ‘a man.’ You believe that?”

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