Page 116 of Deserter

I mashed my trembling lips together and nodded. She patted my shoulder and pulled the curtain closed a little more before walking across the room to do paperwork.

We’d created a little bit of a routine in the past twenty-four hours. She’d visit with me before reviewing her charts while I sat and cried.

The first time I broke down, Kara had assured me that it was just postpartum hormones, but I think even she’d begun to suspect that there was something more going on.

“Has anyone called for me? Like family?”

She glanced up from the chart in her hand. “Not that I know of, I’m sorry.”

Molly and Lucy had come up to the hospital not long after the baby was born, but neither knew anything about Jamie. From what Lucy had been able to gather from Wolverine, the club was doing everything they could to get him out, but it didn’t look good.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and shifted in the large vinyl chair, trying to find a comfortable position. My movements woke the baby and she went back to eyeing my breast warily.

“Oh, I think you might be in the wrong place.”

I looked up at Kara in confusion, only to realize she was speaking to someone at the door. I wiped the stray tears from my cheeks and closed my eyes.

When I reopened them, Jamie was standing in front of me. I blinked several times, convinced I was dreaming. My breath hitched in my chest when I realized it was really him.

“Hey,” he said. I wanted to be mad, but the familiar tone of his voice was like a warm blanket wrapped around my shoulders, protecting me from the world outside.

Jamie looked like a man who’d been gone for years instead of just one day. His face was harder than before, as if he’d seen things that couldn’t be unseen. His lower lip trembled as he stared down at the baby and raked a hand over his face. “She’s perfect. You did good, Mama.”

I held my head in my hands, my body shaking as the grief inside of me fought for a way out. Jamie knelt beside the chair and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me up against his broad chest. “Don’t cry, baby. Don’t cry.”

“I thought—” My voice broke and I tried again with a whisper. “I thought they were going to keep you in there.”

Jamie shook his head. “Ain’t no one keeping me from my girls. Did you use the name we picked out?” When I nodded, he leaned against my arm and cooed, “Hey, Dakota Mae. It’s Daddy.”

She startled and immediately went for my breast, as if she’d just needed to hear her daddy’s voice.

Maybe we both had.

I realized Kara was still standing in the corner of the room, slack jawed, and a look of complete shock etched on her face.

“Kara, can you—” I paused. “Can you fill my husband in?”

I wanted him to know but couldn’t form a coherent sentence if my life depended on it. I’d let her tell him about the delivery and then he could tell me what was really going on.

Her eyes widened as they darted between the two of us. “Sure. I’m sorry I don’t know your name.”

“Jamie,” he responded. “Dakota’s daddy.”

He stared up at me in horror as she began telling him about the emergency cesarean. His eyes went dark and a vein throbbed in his neck as she explained Dakota’s respiratory issues and how they had to sedate me just to piece me back together afterward.

A part of me wanted to pull him up against my chest and comfort him, while the other wanted to claw his face to ribbons and demand he tell me what the hell was going on.

“Fuck, Celia.” He sagged against the chair and my heart broke.

I wiped at the tears on my face and forced my voice to remain calm as I said, “It was so hard without you. I—I needed you.”

He looked up at Kara. “Can you give us a minute?” When she left, he turned back to me. “Are you okay? Do you hurt?”

I pressed my lips together and nodded.

“Where? Where’s it hurt, princess?”

I placed my fingers over my heart. “Here.”

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