Page 95 of Deserter

I needed a minute to catch my damn breath and clear my head. I knew Celia was mine; even when I couldn’t give her the three words she needed to hear. Maybe I did nothing.

Maybe I just buried that shit so far down that it never had to be addressed. She would know how I felt by my actions; anything else was pointless.

I took a left when I hit the highway and headed south, suddenly knowing where I needed to go. Wolverine spouted off all sorts of shit—didn’t mean he was the authority on love and relationships.

There was another man who’d been just as much of a father figure to me growing up and I had a feeling he wasn’t going to buy into Wolverine’s bullshit.

That was what I needed; someone to talk me down off the ledge before I did something stupid, like blow away Celia’s parents or worse, confess that I was in love with her.

He was sitting on the porch steps with a beer in his hand when I pulled up. The lit joint dangled from the edge of his mouth, dangerously close to falling onto the walkway in front of him.

“Angel,” I said by way of greeting as I killed the engine and stepped off my bike.

I’d been shocked as hell when he showed up on our wedding day, in a suit no less. The purple circles under his eyes were the only signs that things weren’t what they seemed, but I’d just chalked it up to lack of sleep.

“Jamie.” He took a drag and offered it to me. “Had your greens today?”

I took it from his hand and inhaled before joining him on the step. “You look old as fuck. When’d that happen?”

“Shit,” he laughed. “You looked in a mirror, son?”

We slipped into a comfortable silence, passing the joint back and forth before he finally asked, “The fuck you doin’ out this way?”

I ground my teeth together. “Came to talk to you about something. I ain’t ever asked you for the truth; just took Wolverine’s version as gospel.”

He exhaled slowly, staring off into space. “You’re here about your ma.”

I nodded. “What I can’t figure is why Wolverine let it slide. Nobody in that club sneezed without him knowing it, yet he turned a blind eye to you and my mother. Why is that?”

“You’re smart, Jamie. You tell me. Why would Wolverine allow something like that to happen?”

“Don’t fuckin’ know. That’s why I’m here. I’m just supposed to believe that she had enough acid in her system to make hooking up with you seem like a good idea?”

His jaw clenched. “I don’t fuckin’ know why he let it go on, but don’t talk about her like she was no better than one of the club whores. I won’t tolerate it.”

I smirked. “You won’t tolerate it? The fuck you going to do? You’re seconds away from keeling over.”

He gripped the edges of my kutte and yanked me toward his face. The joint fell from my hands as I stared at him in shock. His dark eyes, so brown they were almost black, held mine in a glare. “Don’t.”

One word.

A warning.

He shoved me back and retrieved the joint before going back to staring into nothing.

“Angel—”

“It’ll be ten years this year. You think I don’t fuckin’ think about that night and wish that I had done something different?” He looked back to me and roared, “I fuckin’ failed her, Jamie! And I don’t need you showing up to remind me of that.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose, forcing myself to stay in the present. “And you think I don’t see her face when I close my eyes? I’m reminded of that night every time I step foot in the den. I just want answers. I ain’t a kid anymore, Angel.”

He ran a hand through his hair with a defeated sigh. “Mary and I grew up together. She lived next door.” At my expression, he asked, “What’s the matter, son? Can’t believe that trash like me lived next door to a saint like your ma?”

“It’s not that. She never mentioned it—not that she would—fuck, I never would’ve guessed.”

“I’m sure her parents loved the idea of their perfect daughter spending time with the neighborhood fuck up, but Mary was good. She never let what anyone said affect how she treated me.” He fell silent and looked down at the blades of grass sprouting from the cracks in the walkway.

I was suddenly regretting my decision to come. No way in hell Angel was going to be the ally I needed. “So, you and her?”

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