Page 16 of Renegade

He rolled his eyes. “Estás loca.”

The doorbell buzzed again just as I reached it. “Okay, okay. I’m coming. Hold on to your—” The words froze on my lips as I threw open the door. “Monica?”

My mother held her arms out to the side and curtsied. “Hey there, stranger.” She looked like shit—her hair was matted and by the coloring on her face, it was obvious she was using heavily again.

She made a move as if to hug me, but I stepped back out of her reach. “What the hell are you doing here?”

Monica stumbled in after me. “Language, missy. Can’t a mother come visit her little girl? Nice digs—you get you a man?”

Josué came around the corner, but froze when he saw her. “Hello, I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Joshua—and you are?”

She straightened up and ran a hand through her hair; as if that would make her presentable.

“Monica.” She held out her hand, but he made no move to take it. She turned back to me. “Well, he’s a bit older than I would’ve chosen for you, but if he keeps you warm at night, I’m happy.”

My nose wrinkled in disgust. “Ew, no. It’s not like that. How did you find me?”

She shrugged while eyeing everything in the living room before replying absently, “I just needed to see you. I wrote you a letter and it got returned. Your new address was on a small label near the bottom. I said to myself, ‘Monica, where could that girl have gone off to?’ I guess you couldn’t hold on to the duplex?”

I ground my teeth together in frustration. “Well Monica, without a birth certificate or driver’s license, it’s sort of impossible to find a job. No job means no money. No money means no housing…or electricity…or running water, for that matter. You left to go find work, remember?” Josué came over and put a protective arm around my shoulders.

Monica saw it and grinned. “You say it’s not like that, but I have sort of a sixth sense about things like this. You may not be into him, but he is definitely into you. As for the job, I got one. I’ve been working at the Purina plant for the last few weeks. I wrote you a letter so you wouldn’t worry but, lo and behold, you’d gone off with an older man and lost the duplex.”

My head dropped onto my chest and I let out an exhausted sigh. Arguing with her was like arguing with a two-year-old; there was no way to win. We’d go around in circles until I gave up. When she was on benders like this, she’d lose track of time. In her mind, she’d probably only been gone for a week at most—not months.

“What can we do for you, Monica?” Josué stepped in before I completely lost it.

She tried to discreetly look over his shoulder and down the hallway. “Well, I just discovered that I don’t exactly have a place to sleep right now and wondered if I could crash here?” Seeing the horrified expression on Josué’s face, she amended, “I mean, just for tonight.”

He looked at me, clearly leaving the decision in my hands. I was tempted to tell her to get out, but she looked so pathetic, I’d have been a monster to turn her away.

“Just for tonight. You’ll have to leave in the morning.”

She nodded. “Sure—you two lovebirds need your alone time.”

I rolled my eyes. “Whatever you say, Monica. We can make you a bed on the couch. If you want to shower, I’ve got soap and shampoo in the bathroom. I might even have some clothes you could wear.”

Regardless of what she’d told us about having a job, it was obvious that she hadn’t bathed in quite some time. I couldn’t imagine that anyone had given her a job, even if it was at the Purina plant, which seemed to permanently reek of death.

She clapped her hands together and my heart twisted. She looked like the Monica who made sure there was food on the table and clean clothes in the closet. It was the Monica who only showed up briefly beforeAddict Monicatook her place.

I could deal withAddict Monica. In fact, I’d gotten quite good at it over the years.Mom of the Year Monicawasn’t as easy to deal with. She made me forget the bad and spun things in such a way that I only saw the positive.

Josué spoke up, distracting me from my thoughts. “So, LoLo and I were going to go shopping for her graduation dress today; maybe grab some sushi downtown. You interested?”

She shook her head. “I really need to get cleaned up—why don’t you two go on ahead.”

Josué looked like he was ready to agree, but I knew her too well. If we left her alone, she’d have the apartment cleaned out and be well on her way to her next high.

“We’ll wait for you,” I offered, before sitting down on the couch.

“So then Lauren says, ‘How else am I supposed to become a wishing well if I don’t practice eating money?’ I tell you, this kid gave me some gray hair early on.”

I laughed at the story, even though I couldn’t remember it ever happening. Josué watched both of us intently in between bites ofTaco Belltacos. After sushi, Monica had asked him if he would make her a traditional Mexican meal. In all fairness, she never specified how it was made.

We spent the day at the shops down in Cherry Creek. It didn’t matter how much I protested, Josué was insistent that my dress come from a high-end store. Monica said something that sounded suspiciously like ‘sugar daddy’ and I’d winked at him before dissolving into hysterical giggling.

Despite her misconceptions about our relationship, the three of us had a good time together. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen Monica sober for an entire day. Her body was wracked with tremors, a sign of the damage she’d done by using, but she’d managed to hold herself together in spite of the circumstances.

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