Page 66 of Renegade

He took a sip and then fixed his gaze on me. “You’ve got some pretty serious charges stacked against you, Lauren. The evidence doesn’t look good. I want to help you, but you’re going to have to be honest with me.”

Oh, he was good.

I shifted on the couch, unsure of how much to reveal to him. Instead of coming clean, I got defensive. “I don’t know why we’re having this conversation. You’re not looking for more. What we had last night was good, but—”

He frowned. “Don’t do that. Don’t try to pin this on me. Sure, maybe I didn’t know what I wanted, but I’m not the one who left this morning.”

He was right, but I wasn’t quite ready to admit defeat. He was here in my living room; that had to count for something.Was I just making excuses because I didn’t know how to let myself be happy?

I looked away from him and answered, “You’re right. I left because I thought it would hurt less than being rejected by you. I don’t know how to do this whole relationship thing, mainly because I’ve never been in one. God, that makes me sound clingy.”

Mike set his coffee down on the side table and took my hand. “No, I’m the same. If we’re being honest—fine, I’ve never been in an ‘exclusive relationship.’ Hell, most of my dates haven’t lasted past the morning. Last night was something I’ve never experienced before—”

I cut him off with a bitter laugh. “What? Never had sex with a virgin before?”

He shook his head. “Not even once. That’s not what I mean though. For me, it’s always just been sex. Last night was something else though—it meant something. I just have a lot of questions right now though—you told me in Galveston that you weren’t a virgin.”

I pulled my hand free from his and wrapped my arms around myself. “You said I couldn’t tell the truth…so, I didn’t.”

Mike smirked and scratched along his jawline. “You’re fucking with me, right?”

I shook my head. “Not even a little bit. And I was going to lose my virginity sooner, but my life was…complicated.”

He nodded and took another sip of coffee, clearly waiting for me to go on.

I had an ache in the back of my throat and a strong desire to confess everything. He was a cop though—what cop wants to hear that his new—god, what was I to him?What cop wanted to hear that his newpersonwas the daughter of a drug addict?

I’d also already been less than honest on the whole virginity thing, so I wasn’t off to a great start if I wanted a relationship built on honesty.

“Okay, here it is. I didn’t have the easiest childhood. With everything going on, losing my virginity was the last thing I was worried about. By the time it dawned on me, I was old enough that I wanted it to be special.”

It sounded stupid.

And more than a little desperate.

I should’ve just told him about Monica.

His fingers stroked the back of my hand and I stared down at them, somewhat in shock that he was still sitting here. “Mike, what are we doing?”

He exhaled softly. “I don’t know, Red. All I know is that I want to keep seeing you.”

So, it wasn’t some great admission of love. But, it was a start, right?

Chapter Eleven

I looked over the different brands of condoms as Lauren talked to the pharmacist.

Condoms.

That was pretty fucking important.

Once she opened up to me, I’d tried to get her back into bed. She’d casually asked if I’d used a condom every time last night and it was as if a bomb had been dropped into my lap. I couldn’t remember. I’d just woken up and let my baser instincts take over.

She hadn’t freaked out or gotten emotional. She just said she was going to pick up some emergency contraceptive at the pharmacy. The woman, who up until twelve hours ago had been a virgin, was just going to casually pick up some Plan B.

That was the thing with Lauren. She threw everything I thought I knew about women right out the window. I’d woken up this morning and immediately reached for her, only to find an empty bed. Leaving was something I did; I’d never been on the receiving end of it though.

It turned out, I didn’t like it much.

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