Page 24 of Renegade

Isaac gave me an address and offered to come meet me, but I told him I could manage. “You’ve both done enough, Isaac. Is Josué gonna be okay?”

Isaac chuckled softly. “He’s under strict orders to fix himself a strong drink and settle in on the couch while we sort this out. You know how he gets when it comes to you.”

For the second time that night, guilt seeped through my every pore. I had to handle this like an adult.

I was going to drop Monica at the shelter and everything would go back to normal.

My life would be perfect once again. I opened the car door and called out, “Let’s go, Monica.”

She looked up in surprise before making her way back over to me. “Lauren, you don’t need to take me anywhere. I’ll be just fine.”

I blinked away the last of my tears and pointed at my car. “Get in. It’s going to freeze tonight—you can’t stay out here. There’s a shelter downtown…it’s the best I can offer you.”

I expected her to argue with me or at least, push me to take her to my apartment. She just smiled and climbed into the passenger seat though, surprising me yet again.

Her stomach grumbled loudly, so I turned the heat up higher, trying to drown it out. When that didn’t work, I cranked up the radio. Of course, there was a commercial playing for one of the local Mexican food restaurants.

Food wasn’t part of the deal.

This was quickly reminding me of a book one of my elementary teachers read to my class—If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.

If you gave Monica a ride to the shelter, she was going to expect snacks to go with that.

If you gave Monica some snacks, then she would insist upon going back to your warm apartment.

If Monica ended up back at your apartment, then you could reasonably expect half of your things to be missing by the next morning.

“Fine!” I yelled and she jumped in fear, “We’ll stop at a truck stop and get you some food, but you are not staying at my house. Are we clear on that?”

Monica’s eyes were squeezed shut and she clutched her chest. “Jesus, Lauren. Were you trying to give me a heart attack? You can just drop me at the shelter if it’s that much of an inconvenience. I’m sure they have food there.”

She was right…probably. And I had just shouted at her for no reason. Well, not completely without reason—she had stolen from me the last time I saw her.

Her stomach growled again and I knew that I was going to have to feed her if I wanted to go to bed tonight with a clear conscience. “Hey, I’m sorry. Let’s grab some dinner and then I’ll drop you off, okay?”

She kept her face turned toward the window, but didn’t answer me. I kind of wished that I’d been born a man at this point; where it’d have been easier to turn my emotions on and off. Instead, I’d gotten pulled right back in the minute she’d shown up at work.

I should’ve been focused on how well Elizabeth was going to pick up training come Monday or concerned about why Brandon, the guy who took me to the movies last weekend, hadn’t returned my calls. Those were things worth obsessing over, but my heart was a traitor and easily led into emotional warfare where Monica was concerned.

There was no use worrying over the Elizabeth situation until Monday. Now, Brandon? Well that was strange. Dr. Mulloy had set us up; apparently, he was in her spin class and she thought we’d be‘just darling together.’The night had been fun, but by the time the movie ended, I was starting to feel like he was testing me. So, when he asked me to go back to his place, I declined.

When I’d driven myself home later, I felt like I’d passed the test, but was second-guessing myself when the end of the weekend rolled around and my phone stayed silent. I’d called him up and left a casual message, inviting him to grab dinner with me this weekend. Even Dr. Mulloy had seemed surprised that he hadn’t called me back.

“Lauren? Was that the truck stop you were wanting to stop at? You just passed the exit.” She pointed at the glowing lights as we blew by them and I felt like screaming.

C’mon, Lauren. Focus.

I took the next exit and made a U-turn, eventually getting us toThe Iron Skillet. The neon sign flickered, reminding me of those flashing Christmas lights that people seemed to be so fond of putting up on their houses. It was clear they’d aimed for exquisite, but landed at gaudy.

“So, they’ve got really good breakfast. Eggs, bacon—you name it.” There was no one working the hostess stand, so we sat ourselves near the back. I hadn’t been back here since my college days. My roommate and I found that all-night study sessions made us hungry, so we’d grab our books and hit theSkillet. Along with weary truckers, you could also find the college drunks, fresh from whatever nearby club they’d shut down.

Life had been simpler then. The only man I was worried about was Josué and that was just because I wanted to make him proud. Overnight, that list had grown to include people that I wasn’t sure I’d even like were it not for the fact that they signed my paycheck every other week.

“You’re nervous, I can tell,” Monica observed over her cup of coffee. “You ramble and then shut down.”

I added cream and sugar to my coffee until it was almost white before answering, “I wouldn’t say nervous, but there is definitely a certain level of anxiety that goes along with me being close to you. I mean, the last time I saw you, things didn’t exactly turn out well.”

She took a sip of straight black coffee and nodded. “I can’t say that I blame you and I’m glad we’re getting a chance to talk. For the longest time, my addiction was everything. If I didn’t have the drugs, I was thinking of ways to get them. It didn’t matter to me if someone got hurt by my actions as long as I got high. I didn’t see that until I got clean.”

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