Grey studied my face, as if he were working a puzzle. “Do you still have those messages? Maybe we could have Jarvis trace the number.”
If I had the strength, I would’ve been scratching my head right about now. “Why do we need to trace the number? It doesn’t change the fact that she got the drugs and ended herself, does it?”
He scratched at the scruff on his jawline with the back of his thumb. The man fidgeted more than me when working through something in his head. “Lauren showed up at the bar tonight.”
Seven words and I was suddenly fighting for soberness. “What the hell was she doing at the bar?”
Grey gave a small smile. “From what I heard, she showed up demanding to speak to Torch…she even managed to get Carnage riled up enough that he pulled his gun on her.”
My chest constricted painfully. “Is she—did he?” I knew what those men were and women who came in alone were usually never seen again. I was going to murder some bikers if she got hurt.
He placed his hand on my arm. “Hey, she’s alright. She’s looking into her ma’s death and shit ain’t adding up for me right now.”
I sighed and shifted over until I was out of the direct spray from the showerhead. Grey reached up and turned it off before handing me a towel. “Grey, I’ve been over this with her—Monica was found with the needle still in her arm.”
“Let’s get you out of here.” He helped me to my feet and led me back into the bedroom. One and Two had taken off at some point, probably with all of my valuables.
We made it to the bed and Grey reached for my wet boxers. “Whoa, old man, I got this. Just toss me a pair from the top drawer.”
Jesus.I’d do damn near anything for the club, but I wasn’t letting their Pres change my clothes for me.
He turned around while I got dry clothes on. Then, he fixed me with the look. That look meant that I wasn’t going to be getting a lot of sleep in the near future. “I think Lauren’s right, Mike. I think Monica was murdered. I never texted you that night—hell, I didn’t even know about Monica being arrested until you told me. According to Lauren, she had defensive wounds on her hands. Torch thinks the Sons are responsible. I’m inclined to agree, especially after talking to you.”
I lay back against the pillows on my bed and closed my eyes. Instead of the guilt lessening, I felt even more responsible. I’d turned my girlfriend’s mother over to a bunch of monsters. “Grey, if the Sons are responsible then they’ve got someone in the department on their payroll. The official story is that a computer glitch was responsible for Monica being released that night. And if you didn’t text me, then who the fuck did? You’re the only one who knows how to reach me on that phone.”
He nodded. “I thought we had the upper hand with these assholes, but I just don’t know anymore. I need you to see what you can do on your end. If they’re in with a badge, I wanna know who it is. The Sons aren’t known for covering up a death and Lauren seems to think that Monica overheard something she shouldn’t have. If they think she knows something, she might become their next target.”
I was almost completely sober again and feeling incredibly sick. I’d brought this down on her. I’d followed orders like a good soldier, never once questioning where those orders were actually coming from. “I need to go talk to her,” I said as I tried to sit up.
Grey placed a hand on my chest. “Eli’s on his way and then you need to detox and get all that shit out of your system. You can’t do this anymore, Mike. You can’t use and keep her safe. Alcoholism and addiction run in your family.”
I laughed and sarcastically replied, “Is that so? Comedian get drunk and open up to you?”
The bed shifted as he stood up and stretched. “Something like that. Just promise me that you’ll keep it in check.”
I exhaled slowly. “It hurts so fucking bad, Grey.”
The only relief I’d felt in over a month came in the form of an overdose. It didn’t leave me with a sense of hope for the future.
He rubbed absently at the back of his head. “Love’s a bitch, kid. You know, I was a lot like you back in the day. I fucked around a lot. Never had anything serious until Celia—once she came into the picture, that was it for me.”
“How nice for you, old man, but I got my girl’s mom killed. You tell me how in the fuck that works out. There isn’t any coming back after that.”
Sure, he managed to straddle that line between outlaw and husband just fine, but he had no goddamn idea when it came to what I’d done.
Grey chewed at his lip before nodding to himself. “That’s why she left—she blames you for Monica?” I nodded and he continued. “I thought maybe you’d gotten cold feet. So, what? Seems to me like you’ve got even more motivation to find out who’s behind this now. Trust me, it ain’t love unless it rips your fucking guts out.”
He was right. Loving Lauren had eviscerated me. I hadn’t even known how badly I needed her until she’d shown up to David and Elizabeth’s anniversary party.
Need.
The emotion had never worked in my favor in the past. Need had led to me being indebted to the club. Lauren had the same power over me and, no matter how much I drank or used, I couldn’t move on.
She was it.
I pressed my fingers to my eyelids. Now was a fine time to realize that my heart was going to be hers until I took my last breath.
Eli showed up and started checking my vitals while Grey hovered in the background. God forbid his number one detective croak on him. As Eli listened to my heart, the full impact of Grey’s suspicions hit me.