Page 36 of Traitor

I tried to sound casual with, “Hey, you brought it up, Tex.” My chest tightened and I felt like weeping over everything that we’d lost that night in January.

“I’ve got to go. I’ll call you once I figure out who the mole is.” Without waiting for a response, he stormed back across the parking lot to his truck.

My face grew warm and I felt the tears prick the back of my eyelids, but I refused to fall apart right now. I was going to have to reach out to the police department again, with or without his help.

My phone vibrated before I even shifted the car into drive and my body relaxed. Instead of the text from Mike that I was expecting, I was greeted by a message from Jimmy.

“Are you okay? Did you make it home?”

A lone tear broke free and slid down my cheek. I felt dirty. Cheap. I’d thrown myself on Mike mere minutes after kissing Jimmy. It was disgusting.

I tapped out a quick reply,

“Got hung up. Almost home now. Same time tomorrow?”

Mike was determined to never let my heart forget what we’d had, however brief it had been. Every time we touched he left an imprint on my body, further ruining me for any other man.

If I managed to stay away, how long would it take to forget what his touch had felt like? The way his lips always parted slightly right before he leaned in for a kiss? How long would it be before I could fully inhale without feeling the stabbing pain of losing him all over again?

“Are you sure he won’t break?” I lifted Kaden’s legs up as if they were made of glass, while trying to slide a clean diaper under his tiny bum.

Elizabeth watched amusedly over my shoulder. “Lauren, babies are pretty resilient. I think he’ll make it through a diaper change.”

I unsnapped the miniscule buttons on his onesie and protested, “But, this sock thing on his foot with the wire. What if I pull it off?”

She laughed. “Look at him. He’s fine. If it comes off, we’ll put it right back on.”

I glanced down to see Kaden staring up at me with wide eyes, as if even he knew that I shouldn’t have been tasked with this job. “Hey there,” I cooed, but he kept watching me with a completely serious expression. “I won’t hurt you…I mean, I probably won’t hurt you. It’s not my intention to hurt you—”

“Lauren?”

“Mmm hmm?” I muttered distractedly before looking up at Elizabeth.

“Just change the damn diaper.”

Got it.

I opened the diaper and immediately wrinkled my nose up. “How on earth does something so tiny make such a godawful mess?”

It took me another ten minutes, an extra three diapers, and one change of clothes before I had Kaden settled peacefully in my arms.

“That was easier than I thought,” I exclaimed.

Elizabeth’s eyebrows drew down and she pursed her lips. “I wouldn’t quit your day job just yet. You’ve got to be quick with little boys. They tend to fire at will.”

Kaden’s mouth fell open as he inhaled and exhaled loudly, his little chest working hard with each breath. “Is this okay? Does he need some oxygen?”

Elizabeth leaned across the chair and checked his monitor. “He’s good, just a noisy sleeper. Relax, Lauren. You’re doing great.”

I settled back against the couch and tried to take my mind off of the stress of holding a preemie. I didn’t know how Elizabeth managed to get even a second of sleep. I would’ve been a sleep-deprived monster, yet here she was, looking like a supermodel.

She beamed at me. “So, how are things since you-know-who? I haven’t had a chance to ask—working part-time is kicking my ass.”

I covered Kaden’s ear and shot her a look of mock disgust. “Language, Elizabeth. You want your son talking like that?”

With a small laugh, she gestured for me to talk. “C’mon, Santiago-McGuire, let’s hear it.”

“You know using someone’s last name only works if it’s short. Like yours, for instance, Greene.” She exaggeratedly began checking her watch and rolling her eyes.

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