Page 103 of Traitor

The strange woman clapped her hands together and began speaking in rapid Spanish. I looked to Abuelita to translate, but it was Little Ricky who spoke.

“The healer wants to know if you have any fertility—” His serious expression fell away and he choked with laughter. “Or phallic sculptures.”

AtAbuelita’sstern expression, he transformed back into his role of innocent bystander immediately, all traces of humor gone from his face. Torch was staring out the front window earnestly, completely avoiding making eye contact with anyone in the room.

I owned a lot of phallic sculptures...how was I not pregnant?

All kidding aside, I wasn’t even sure how a statue was supposed to help me get pregnant. I shook my head andAbuelitapatted my hand.

The healer came over to me and placed her hands on my abdomen. Heat shot out from her fingertips, warming my skin better than any heating pad. She nodded at Abuelita and I was only able to catch a few words as she began chattering away again in Spanish.

Abuelita’shands came up to her face as she gasped at the healer’s words.

“What? What’s wrong?” I looked over at Little Ricky when she didn’t answer.

He frowned. “Mi sirenita, the healer says that you became ‘afflicted’ when you were a child. Your body has been spooked and cannot bear children.”

Despite my unwillingness to buy anything the woman was selling; my lip began trembling and I teared up again. “I’m broken?”

She looked at me and nodded as she spoke. I looked around furtively for someone to translate.

Abuelita gripped my shoulder. “You have never known stability,mijita.La curanderasays the body has only known how to exist in chaos and in chaos it will remain. Your heart knows that you have made a home with your husband, but the body and mind are still dealing with the past trauma.” She paused and listened for a moment before nodding. “We must align all three and only by doing so, can we convince the womb that it is safe for a child.”

I wanted to laugh the four of them right out the door, but somewhere deep inside of me, her words clicked. I had grown up in an unstable environment—something she’d obviously picked up on just by laying her hands on me.

I took a deep breath. “What do I have to do to fix it? I’m not having sex with Little Ricky, I just want to put that out there now.”

He gave me a suggestive wink and puckered his lips. “You would be pregnant within minutes. Maybe consider that before you turn it down.”

“That’s enough—do you want the tamales,o vas a seguir hablando?” Abuelita placed her hand on her hip.

“Sí.”

“Okay then, we are ready to begin. I will run the bath. Dave, you need to boil water for the tea and Little Ricky, you will set up the massage table.”

Abuelita launched into action, dragging me along behind her. She plugged the drain and began dumping various herbs into the water. “You just had your monthly visit, yes?”

I nodded, still more than a little nervous about what it was I was going to have to do and wondering how in the hell my grandmother knew my cycle as well as I did. “Um, what is the healer going to do? Is it invasive?”

She cupped my cheek in her weathered hand. “Mijita, take a deep breath. This will be like a spa day.”

She stepped out while I undressed and slipped into the water. The smell of the herbs mixed with the steam—enveloping my senses and leaving me with a surreal sense that this wasn’t an absolute waste of my time.

I was just planning on baking a cake today; I totally had time for a fertility ritual, right?

Abuelitaslipped back into the bathroom with a towel in her hands. She even went as far as insisting on drying me off like a small child before handing me a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants and leading me out onto the landing.

The healer closed her eyes and breathed deeply; everything about her was deeply intense. It was as if she saw past the physical and straight into my soul. Her heavily lined face split into a grin after a few moments and she nodded, stating that it was time to begin.

It was the first thing to come out of her mouth that I actually understood. She took my hand in hers and helped me up onto the massage table with a strength a woman her age shouldn’t have possessed. She lifted the edge of my t-shirt up until it was right under my breasts and I prayed that Mike didn’t decide to come home early—this would’ve been impossible to explain to him.

I was having enough trouble explaining it to myself.

Torch came up the stairs with a coffee mug in one hand and a bowl in the other. The healer took both from him and began arranging things near my feet. He did the weird staring off into the distance thing again.

“Torch.”

He continued staring at the wall.

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