Page 91 of Safe and Sound

“I’m serious, Dare.”

“So am I.” Plastering on my best fake smile, I said, “I don’t know how you got it in your head that Ava meant something to me. I mean, we were only dating three months.”

“I saw the way you looked at her.” Caterina shook her head. “You’ve never looked at another woman like that.”

At the thought of Shannon, I whispered, “Yes, I have.”

With a sigh, Caterina said, “For what it’s worth, she looked at you the same way.”

My chest constricted. As I fought to keep my emotions in check, I choked out, “I can’t go to her.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“If I truly care for her, I have to respect her feelings.”

Caterina furrowed her brows at me. “What do you mean?”

It must’ve been Caterina’s past as a novice nun that had me unburdening myself of what happened between me and Ava. When I finished, tears pooled in Caterina’s eyes. “Oh Dare, I’m so sorry.”

“At least now you can understand why we can’t be together.”

Nibbling her lip in thought, Caterina said, “Maybe I could talk to her. Or Isla. We could explain how you aren’t a danger to her.”

“But I am.”

“You would never,everhurt her.”

“I wouldn’t. But the world I belong to could.”

“You can’t say that for sure.”

“You aren’t blind, Caterina. You grew up in our world. Look at what happened to you and to Isla and to Maeve.” I shook my head. “What woman in her right mind would willingly join this family?”

“Isla did. Despite what happened, she still chose Quinn.” She leaned forward to touch my hand. “Ava could do the same. She just needs to be given the chance”

“She made her decision a week ago.”

With a shake of her head, Caterina argued, “She was in shock after what happened. She wasn’t thinking clearly. Maybe now that she’s had time to think about it,

“You weren’t there. You don’t know how she looked at me…what she said to me.”

“Of course, she was frightened by what she saw.”

“It wasn’t just the fear.” Swallowing hard, I replied, “She said she could never love a monster like me.”

Tears welled in Caterina’s eyes. “I’m so sorry.” With a shake of her head, she replied, “I wish I knew what I could do to help her…and you.”

“There’s nothing to be done. It’s over and done, and there’s not a damn thing that I or anyone else can do about it.” With a mirthless laugh, I added, “Except drink too much and fuck random women.”

“Don’t do that.”

“Too late.” At the disappointment in her face, I sighed. “Trust me, I feel every bit as disgusted with myself as you do right now.”

“I’m heartbroken for you, not disgusted.”

“You sure about that? I I fucked two women last night to try and forget Ava.”

Caterina’s hand flew to her mouth as horror flashed in her eyes. “How could you possibly think that was the answer for a broken heart?”

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