Page 91 of Seven

“What the hell were you thinking? We had a plan,” he rasped. “You shouldn’t have gone there alone. Youknewit wasn’t safe, but you walked right into it like you had something to prove.”

I did.

Ihadto.

I wanted to tell him that.

I wanted him to understand that I was trying to do the right thing. I was so damn close to finding what we needed. I truly thought it was the safest way. I didn’t want to pull him or his brothers into this mess. But that’s exactly what I did. I hated that it had turned out this way. I wanted desperately to tell him just how sorry I was, but my throat was too thick with whatever drug they’d given me.

Holt was still laying in to me. It was hard to keep up with everything he said, but I heard him fuss, “You don’t get to do that, Tallie. You don’t get to put yourself on the line like that without me. Not ever again.”

I needed to tell him that I was sorry.

I needed to tell him that IknewI’d been reckless, and I should’ve waited. But the darkness was pulling me under again, and this time, it swallowed me up, and I could barely hear him as he whispered, “I almost lost you…”

I had no idea how long I’d been asleep when I felt myself being carefully lifted. Without opening my eyes, I knew Holt was cradling me in his arms. The warmth of his body was tooinviting, and I was too damn exhausted to protest. So, I rested my head on his shoulder and let him carry me to the room.

I couldn’t even remember him putting me in the bed, but I woke up the next morning with my head plastered on his bare chest. I slowly lifted myself up, trying my best not to wake him, and carefully eased myself onto the floor. I went to the bathroom and freshened up a bit. Washed my face and brushed my teeth. That’s when I noticed that I was wearing pajamas that I didn’t even remember changing into.

I went back out to the bedroom and stopped at the foot of the bed. It was still early, and Holt was still sound asleep. My heart ached as I stood there looking at him. The worries from the night before had melted away.

Lying there with his face free from his dark thoughts, he actually looked peaceful, almost vulnerable. “How long are you planning to stand there, staring at me like that?”

“I don’t know. How long you planning to stay mad at me?”

“How do you know I’m mad?”

“Aren’t you?”

“Absolutely.” He opened one eye. “I have a good reason, don’t ya think?”

“You do.” I raked my teeth over my bottom lip. “But I had a good reason for doing what I did.”

“I’m sure you do. Not sure I want to hear it.”

“Come on, Holt. Don’t be like that,” I pleaded. “I was just trying to find what we needed, and I felt like we were so close. I didn’t think it was going to turn out like it did.”

“Were you thinking about anything when you went over there?” Holt sat up on his elbows. “Were you thinking about me or the plan we had laid out? Were you thinking about Ford and how he’d feel if something happened to you?”

“I didn’t think…”

“That’s right. You didn’t think, and you almost got killed because of it!”

“Holt.”

“No, don’t Holt me. You got any idea how bad this thing could’ve been?” He shook his head. “I could’ve lost you. Ford could’ve lost you, and I don’t think I’d ever be able to forgive myself if that happened.”

“It would’ve been my fault.”

“You’re my woman, Tal. It’s my job to protect you. End of story.”

The guilt of what I’d done and the hurt I’d caused started to get to me, and I could feel the tears stinging my eyes. I didn’t want him to see me crying, so I turned to face the dresser. That’s when I saw the letters.

I remembered the heart-felt words that marked the pages, and the dam broke. Tears started to stream down my face. I’d messed up, and I didn’t know how to fix it. I turned to face him as I muttered, “I’m sorry. If I could go back and do it differently, I would.”

As soon as our eyes met, I knew he’d seen that I’d been crying, and his expression softened. “There are some things you need to know.”

“Can we not?” It meant a great deal to me that he cared so much, but I didn’t want to talk about what happened or anything else for that matter. “I know it was bad. I know they drugged me, and I have no idea what happened after that. And for a little while longer, I want to keep it that way.”

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