Page 32 of Bound By Valor

“What?” Her soft whimper started poking through my defenses.

Keep it together, Zar.

She pushed me back gently, and I moved away several steps, adjusting my sweatpants. “We shouldn’t have done this. It doesn’t mean what you think it means.”I shouldn’t have let it get this far.

Her silence was heavy, filled with confusion and hurt—a stark contrast to the passion just moments before. As I looked into her eyes, filled with emerging tears, I knew I had not only crossed a line but also hurt someone who had begun to mean more to me than I dared admit.

“You coward!” Leora hissed through her tears andwalked away. I stood there, frozen. The only sound surrounding me was my shattered breath, broken just like me.

SIXTEEN

Zarek

It really wasn’t a good look on me—this mix of misery, anger, and impatience was unbecoming of a squad leader. Yet, that’s what painted my days lately. I snapped at Logan over his harmless jokes and dismissed Amelia’s pointed observations with barely a second thought. The team sensed the shift; they could feel the icy divide and, without much fuss, they lined up behind Leora, silently taking her side against mine.

Why couldn’t they see? Why were they so eager to drag someone else into this maelstrom of danger and uncertainty? I knew too well what happened when people got tangled up in the affairs meant for those in the Alpha program. We were hardened by training, both mentally and physically, prepared for anything—or so we told ourselves. Our only family was the squad; we had long given up on the illusion of a normal life. What was so noble about pulling someone else into this life?

It wasn’t just about keeping her safe anymore; it was about the raw fear that gripped me whenever I thought of her facing the dangers we lived with daily.

I couldn’t understand her point of view. And I couldn’t make her understand mine. Until it all came rushing back and I could no longer keep my fears from her.

???

“Zar!” Zavier’s familiar voice chirped from the backyard. “Check this out!”

I was visiting home after my second tour as the Alpha Squad Six member. My brother had barely seen me in the past few years.

I was in one of my rather solemn moods. We had lost a member of our Squad, Maxton. We couldn’t even get his body transferred back to his family. I was beyond exhausted with my appeals to Bridgewood.

Dragging myself from the sofa, I found my way to where Zavier was lounging on the patio bench, his enthusiasm a stark contrast to my gloom.

“Look at this.” He waved his phone at me, his face lit up like a kid with a new toy. He shoved the screen in my face, an email blinking back that spoke of recruitment opportunities with the CIA right at his precinct. “It’s a covert hire, man. Can you believe it?”

“That’s incredible, Z.” I managed, shoving aside my own dark cloud for a moment to bask in his excitement. “You thinking about talking to the Chief?”

“Yeah, I mean, I’ve had enough of playing shepherd to lost elderly folk from the retirement homes around the precinct,” he groaned, rolling his eyes dramatically. “Every day it’s another wild goose chase for someone who’s wandered off. I can’t do itanymore, Zar.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle; his frustrations might have seemed trivial to me once, but they were his daily battles. “You want out to chase bigger things, huh?”

“Exactly! I mean, you’re out there, doing important stuff with the CIA. Maybe one day we’ll even team up on a mission or something, right?” His grin was all the sunshine I needed, and I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I was no longer CIA.

“I hear you, Z. But remember, it’s not all action and glory. It’s a lot of missed family dinners, and yeah, they might not even keep you stateside.”

He nodded, the weight of my words sinking in, but the sparkle didn’t quite leave his eyes. He was ready, maybe for the adventure, maybe to step out of his big brother’s shadow.

Just then, our dad’s voice boomed, “Zavier!” signaling his return from wherever he’d been pottering about.

I nudged Zavier with my elbow. “Come on, let’s go surprise him, he doesn’t know I’m home.”

And just like that, we headed toward Dad, who was utterly unaware of our approach. The sight of me made his hands falter, and the bag he was holding tumbled to the ground, its contents spilling out unceremoniously.

“Zarek, my boy!” His voice boomed as he rushed over, his arms enveloping me in one of those robust, back-thumping hugs that I’d almost forgotten in my time away. “Hey, Dad!” I managed, the familiarity of home wrapping around me like a warm blanket.

“What are you doing here?” He pulled back, his eyes wide with surprise. “I thought Nuria had you this time of year.”

The mention of my mother’s name sliced through the moment like a cold breeze. The divorce hadn’t been kind, leaving scars too deep and too raw; Dad had moved us from Canada to the USA when I was twelve, creating a chasmbetween us and Mom that never really healed.

I hadn’t seen her much over the years, a silent accord sealed by the choices made back then—that we were unequivocally Dad’s kids, not Nuria’s. She was a woman who had loved deeply, fiercely even, sometimes standing between us and Dad when things got too intense. But Zavier had chosen Dad, and as the older brother, I’d felt it my duty to uphold his decision, to protect him, even if it meant leaving behind a part of ourselves.

---