Page 33 of Cutter

“That’s not fair. I know my heart. You don’t have a monopoly on awareness. Can’t you understand what you’ve done to me? In a few hours, you’ve opened my eyes to what’s possible and given me so much. You’re right here.” She pressed her hand to her chest. “You’ve swept me off my feet, and I don’t need to be convinced or to search my feelings. Not when I miss you already.”

“And I miss you, baby.” He kissed her forehead. “It’s only for a little while. Trust me. You’ll thank me later. Don’t you want to be sure you’re looking at your forever Daddy? Once you accept me, I ain’t leaving.”

Emily stopped arguing and probed deep into his eyes. Cutter was dying to know what was going through her mind. He knew his question had big implications that went far into the future. Commitment, acceptance, and loyalty were all involved.

And trust.

Then he saw the flash in her eyes. Doubt had crept into her thoughts and spirit. “Emily.” He frowned. “You’re doing it again.”

“Can you blame me? One moment, you love me, give me pleasure and happiness. In the next, you want to take it away. My Middle is fragile, confused, and hurting. I have to protect her.”

“I’m not taking anything away.”

“But you are!” She stepped back. “Why don’t you see that?”

“Shit.” He cocked his head. “The wound is deeper than I thought. I’m your protector, Emily. That’s my job. What real Daddies do. And I’m not the asshole who hurt you.Unfortunately, I can’t build trust overnight. But believe me, I’m not going anywhere, kitten. I’ll prove it to you. Will you give me a chance?” Grabbing her hand, he kissed her knuckles.

The softness in her expression warmed his suddenly fearful heart. He’d been within an inch of scaring her away from him.

“Should I still call you Daddy?’

“You better. Otherwise…”

“I know.” She smiled. “I’ll get a spanking.”

He breathed with relief; the tension had eased a bit. The most important takeaway from this exchange was realizing Emily’s spiritual fragility. His kitten was good at hiding behind the efficient detective persona. In reality, she needed daily reassurances until the gash in her soul closed and healed without a trace. He was determined to do just that.

“Come here.” He pulled her close. As she looked up, he kissed her forehead, the tip of her nose, then lingered on her sweet lips. Hating having to leave her, he broke the kiss and moved back. “Just so you know, I’m not going straight home.”

“Oh?”

“I want to talk with Blade and the other guys. Barron and Johnny Gun stayed in the saloon when I followed Yoanni here. Maybe they have something to tell me. We’ll see.”

“Makes sense. But please be careful. If you learn anything important, call me right away.”

“Of course I will.” He opened the door. “I’m ordering you to relax, kitten. Your TV is cued to your favorite channel.”

“I remember.” She smiled.

He stepped out onto the breezeway connecting her apartment door to the one across. “Lock the bolt. I’ll wait until I hear it.”

“Yes, Daddy.” She sent him an air kiss and closed the door. Moments later, the bolt slipped into place. Satisfied that she was secure in her apartment, he took the stairs to the ground floor.

Walking to his truck, Cutter typed a text to Blade.Are you awake? Have you seen Johnny Gun or Barron?

Blade answered.Come over. I’m awake. Barron is here. Johnny Gun is out on a date.

Cutter typed back.Thanks. Be there in about twenty.

Sliding his phone into his T-shirt pocket, Cutter jumped behind the wheel. A moment before he drove off, he glanced up at Emily’s apartment. Only her bedroom window was illuminated. A part of him urged him to go back up. To check on her and learn her nightly habits.

Taking a deep breath, he pulled out of the parking lot, deciding to call or text her every night, even when he had nothing to say about the investigation. That would go a long way to reassure her of his feelings and ease his ache. Emily wasn’t the only one struggling with this crazy idea of separation.

When Cutter walked into the clubhouse, Blade was stretched out on his sofa, watching the Thursday night game on his brand-new panoramic TV. Barron sat on a recliner angled toward the screen. Blade lifted his arm and waved at him. “Dude. What’s up? You eat? There’s pizza.”

“No, thanks, man. Ain’t hungry.” Cutter dragged a recliner close to Barron’s. “Anyone want a beer before I sit?”

“I’ll take one,” Blade replied.

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