Page 33 of In Bed with the Ice Queen

Helena looked back at Sloane, and Sloane could see the conflict still brewing within her.

They both knew what they had to do next. Either they would take a step forward or a step back. Sloane held her breath, waiting for Helena's answer.

“I’ve messed up,” Helena said, her voice barely above a whisper. “I have been a total bitch to everyone, including you.” She took a deep breath, and Sloane noticed tears welling up in Helena’s eyes. “I can’t keep doing this, Sloane. I am so tired of pretending I have it all together.”

Sloane’s heart broke a little at the sight of Helena, usually so commanding and confident, now vulnerable and emotional. “What do you mean?” she asked, her voice softening.

“I feel like I don’t have any real support. Everyone around me just wants something from me or wants to make their own lives better,” Helena explained. “It’s hard being in charge. All these people clock out at 5 p.m., but I’m still here, alone.”

“Helena, you’re the CEO. It’s your job to lead,” Sloane said, trying to understand.

“I know,” Helena said, wiping a tear from her cheek. “But it doesn’t feel good. I haven’t had anyone to really lean on for years. And, honestly, Ive never had a girlfriend. I just push women away. And then, when you…when we…happened, I got scared.”

Sloane felt her breath hitch. “Scared of what?”

“Scared of what it could mean. Scared of getting hurt. Scared of technicalities and motivations. Scared of coming out. Scared of losing you,” Helena admitted, looking straight into Sloane's eyes. “I felt like I had to push you away because I couldn’t admit that I actually have feelings for you. I hate how I reacted, and I’m honestly in more pain than I’m used to handling.”

Sloane looked at Helena, seeing the seriousness in her eyes. “You want me to believe that?” she asked, her heart fluttering with a mix of hope and hesitation.

“I do,” Helena said, her voice thick with emotion. “I could not let you go to bed not knowing how I felt. I’m sorry for everything. I feel awful about how I pushed you away.”

Sloane nodded slowly, taking in Helena's honest pain. “You hurt me, Helena. I thought we had something real.”

“We do,” Helena insisted, leaning forward. “I know I’ve been difficult. I’ve been like this for so long. But you…you make me feel different. You make me feel like I’m not just a CEO or a warrior in a suit. When I’m with you, I feel…more.”

Sloane felt the warmth of Helena’s words wrap around her, making her hesitate just a little less.

“What do you want, Helena?” Sloane finally asked.

“I want to start over. I want to be honest with you. I want to try,” Helena said, wiping her tears and meeting Sloane's gaze with sincerity. “I need you in my life, Sloane. I don’t want to lose you. I think I’m falling in love with you.”

"I can’t believe you apologized," Sloane said, her voice steady but soft. She had always found it hard to get through to Helena. “I didn't expect that.”

Helena took a deep breath. “I’m really sorry, Sloane. I know I’ve been closed off. With the merger and everything, I got so wrapped up in work. It has felt easier to push everyone away.”

Sloane set her cup down and leaned in closer. “Do you really think you needed to do that with me? I mean, with us?”

Helena looked down at her coffee again. “Maybe I thought I had to be strong. But now I realize I don’t want to be strong all the time, especially not around you. Hiding how I feel clearly just makes me less relatable and doesn’t help in the long-run. My admission on the yacht was the first time I’ve felt like I could be myself in a professional setting in so long. It took me off guard.”

A flutter of excitement raced through Sloane. “So, you’re saying you want me to be part of your life even with everything else going on?”

“Yes,” Helena replied, meeting Sloane’s gaze. “I was afraid you wouldn’t understand. But I do care about you. More than I thought I would.”

Sloane could feel a warmth spreading through her. “You don’t need me, Helena. Maybe you just want me. And that’s okay.”

Helena’s eyes widened slightly. “You’re okay with that?”

Sloane smiled a little. “Yeah, I think I am.” She paused for a moment, feeling a mix of emotions. “But now…? What do we do next? We each have our own rooms.”

“I don’t want to confuse you. I know I’ve been distant. But I really want to be close to you.”

Sloane took a breath, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “I want to be close to you too. It’s just I’ve been guarding myself after seeing how harsh you’ve been to people close to you. So I’m really surprised you said all this. It must have been hard for you, with the merger and everything on the line.”

Helena nodded, her fingers tapping lightly on the table. “Honestly, it is. I was scared to mess everything up at work. But I think I messed up more by pushing you away.”

Sloane watched her, feeling a softening in her chest. “I accept your apology, Helena.” She hesitated, wondering if now was the right moment to confess her own feelings. “And I’m willing to forgive you for being closed off. Just know that I want to move forward, but I also want to be careful and not risk any exposure that would make people question the legitimacy of the merger.”

“I understand,” Helena replied, her expression earnest. “I promise to be open with you from now on.”

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