Page 10 of How to Rescue Your Surprise Baby

Just before he turned off the light, Telos whispered, “It’s okay to play with your, ah, sausage. I won’t laugh if you call it names. You can even name your cock after me. That’s totally cool.”

“What the hell,” Mav said flatly.

“Oh? You need an example?” Telos lowered his voice by a notch to imitate Mav’s growl. “What’s this in my pants? Ah, it’s my Telos. He lives there all the time. When I get excited, my Telos gets leaky like a faucet. You should repair him. He’ll cover you with... gratitude.”

Mav grimaced and cracked open his eyes. “You’re insane.”

“The only way to be, really. Now your dreams will be filled by a mini-me in your pants. Reciting terrible pickup lines from dawn till dusk.”

Mav pulled his pillow over his head. “No, thanks.”

But the pillow didn’t cover his face completely. It didn’t hide the tiny twitch at the corner of his mouth.

Telos stared, his heart missing a beat.

He was seeing things. Mavneversmiled at his jokes.

He pulled the covers over himself and turned off the light, his thoughts churning.

4

ETERNAL PAYBACK

Mav joltedawake when something warm hit him in the face.

“What the fuck?” He smacked away the offending object, only for his hand to hit something light, crinkled, and warm. He cracked open his eyes.

It was a brown paper bag, spotted with grease.

“I killed something for your breakfast.” Across the room, Telos kicked back in a chair, fully dressed. He was holding an identical paper bag.

Mav narrowed his eyes. Then he sniffed, and realized that whatever Telos had thrown at him, it smelleddelicious.

“I could throw your coffee at your head, too, but I’m not feeling up to being mauled this early.” Telos took a bite of his own breakfast. “Iwouldpay to see coffee splash all over your face, though. It would be the trendy new look.”

Mav flipped him off. “Do that, and you’ll get payback every morning for the rest of your life.”

Telos’ eyebrows shot up. “Huh. Really.”

He looked suspiciously thoughtful. For all Mav knew, he’d just set himself up for another prank.

Mav scrubbed his face. He hadn’t gotten enough sleep. But he checked the time on his phone and realized they had to get going; there were people who needed to be saved.

People like Telos’ surprise baby.

How was it fair that Telos had gotten a baby before Mav, when Mav was the one who’d been searching so carefully for the right person to raise his children with?

He sat upright with a groan, the sheets falling away from his chest. He reached into the paper bag and found a large croissant filled with cheese, scrambled egg, and a thick slice of ham. When he bit into it, the flavors burst across his tongue like an orchestra.

He looked up to find Telos grinning smugly into his coffee.

Mav was only surprised that Telos had bothered. Telos was great at picking tasty food for their friends; whether he got something good for Mav, was a whole other story. Mav couldn’t count the number of times Telos had promised to bring him something amazing, only to show up with food that was strange, disappointing, or outright disgusting.

The croissant was far better than anything Telos had given him in the past. It was better than the frozen food from last night, and it was probably the best food they’d had on this mission. Mav made a sound of approval, stuffing half the sandwich into his mouth.

Then he got out of bed to piss, only for Telos to choke and cough.

“Can’t swallow?” Mav asked around his sandwich.

---