Page 69 of Forced Plus-Size Mate

“I’m so happy, Amanda,” Body whispers. “I know these might be the darkest days the pack has ever seen, but with you by my side, I can face it. I can handle anything.”

Even if I’m the one who caused it?

“I’m glad I can give you strength,” I reply, not daring to share my true thoughts.

“Thank you for trusting me,” he says, opening his eyes and looking straight at me. It’s almost impossible to see his pupils against the dark brown irises, as if his eyes are an echo of the deep earth from where all things are born and grow.

And where we all return, in death.

Fuck, don’t be so morbid!

It’s no use. I can feel pain and grief echoing around the mountain, an endless litany of sorrow and regret. I realize that I’ve been getting in the way of my own healing, because as my mind and body have become more whole, my sensitivity has increased until I can hear the keening for the dead—and their restless spirits roaming around the wilderness.

And it’s not going to stop. They will keep coming. They hate us that much.

“Amanda?” Body asks, sounding worried.

“Yes, my love?” I say, blinking myself back to reality. I run my fingers through his hair again, letting the sensations ground me. “I’m still just feeling a bit off,” I tell him. “My magic is a bit haywire.”

“Don’t try to use it,” he says, looking concerned. “I can’t stand the idea of you getting hurt. I need you.”

“I need you, too,” I whisper, leaning down to kiss him.

Shivers run through me as I press my lips against his, teasing his tongue and indulging in the pleasure this simple gesture gives me. My whole body starts to sing, begging for his touch and the feel of him inside me as we become one.

But I need him to live. I need him to have all he deserves in his pack, and safety for himself and his youngsters. The only way to protect him is to leave him…

“I love you,” he whispers, breaking the kiss with his words. “I always have, and I always will. I can’t believe you gave me a second chance. I didn’t deserve it.”

“Hush, my love,” I murmur, stroking his cheek. “That’s in the past now. We were different people then. Just focus on today, on what we are right now. That’s enough for us both.”

“Yes!” he agrees. “What we are now, and what we’ll become.”

I ignore the last line and kiss him again. I don’t want to think about the past or the future. All I want to do is pretend the rest of the world doesn’t exist and enjoy what I have in this moment.

Because I know this can’t last. One way or another, we’ll be forced apart. The only way to save us both is to admit the truth of it… and sacrifice myself to save him.

Chapter 22 - Body

On the ride back from New Hope, Amanda is quiet. I’d hoped that some time with Lucy would comfort her, but it seems it only made things worse.

Maybe it wasn’t her chat with Lucy, but the hospital.

The schoolhouse at New Hope functions as a medical center in the back, left over from the great battles Rider fought against Tobias. Today was the first day in many years it housed so many wounded, and the sight was confronting.

Amanda wanted to help, but eventually, Lucy sent her away, saying it was too dangerous when Amanda wasn’t fully healed yet.

“Babe?” I ask softly.

Amanda stares out the window of the truck into the darkness of the falling night. I’m not even sure she heard me until she shakes herself and seems to return from a very faraway place.

A place that doesn’t look like a happy one.

“Hmm?” she murmurs.

“What would you like for dinner?” It’s a lame question, but truly the best I can do in an attempt to open a conversation.

“Whatever you like,” she answers.

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