Page 6 of Forced Plus-Size Mate

Making sure the young ones are deeply asleep, I crawl out of the hollow and pace back out to the peak. The fierce wind is slowing down, and the sky is clear above me. I let down my mental barriers, allowing the thoughts of her I always hide to rise up and consume my heart.

Amanda.

With that one word, my mind is full of her. It’s been so many years, but I can still remember every wonderful detail of her—long, dark auburn hair, falling to her waist and shimmering like rubies in deep shadows. Perfect, teal-blue eyes, shimmering like a clear day in spring. And her luscious, full curves that feel like heaven to sink my hands into.

Since I let her go, I haven’t been able to look at another woman. Just the thought of coupling with anyone else makes me go cold. The pain in her eyes at my final words, her tears, the look on her face—

I can’t!

I want to howl. I want to hurl this sorrow into the night. But howling would alert the pack, call them to my aid, or send a message. I could cry into the wind all night, and the message would never reach her.

She’s gone. And there’s no help for me.

I lower my head, closing my eyes as I struggle against the pain inside. I don’t know where she went or what happened to her. All I know is that the main coven of witches left Silver Meadows and didn’t tell anyone where they were going. I searched the wilderness for years and never even caught a hint of her lovely scent.

I have to learn to live with this. If I don’t, my sorrow will slowly eat away at me—and take my will to live.

My young charges give me the strength to fight my melancholy, but they don’t cure it. I stay here on the peaks as much as possible so I don’t have to remember what I’ve done, and that I’ll never know happiness unless I can undo it.

If I could just tell her I’m sorry, maybe then I could learn to live without her in my arms. I can’t go on, knowing she’s out there and she thinks I don’t love her…

Again, a desperate howl rises in my throat. I snap my teeth shut, shaking my head.

My sorrow is my own. I will not share it. This burden is mine to carry, and I will suffer with it alone until the day I can redeem myself in her eyes.

And if I never get the chance… then I deserve to live like this to the end of my days.

Chapter 3 - Amanda

Anxiously, the other witches and I wait for the new moon. Where the full moon is bright and illuminating, the new moon shows what is hidden and invites us into the darkness to discover buried secrets.

Even though it’s only a couple of days, my impatience rises by the second. Living with Lucy and Peter is comfortable, but it also grates on me for reasons I don’t fully understand.

Or, maybe, that I just don’t want to admit.

On the night of the new moon, as we eat an early dinner, I have to admit to myself that it’s their easy interaction with each other that makes me uncomfortable. Peter and Lucy share quiet looks, smiles, and warm words that show how connected they are to each other.

And I know I’ll never have a relationship like this.

“You’re very quiet, Amanda,” Peter remarks. “Would you like some more bread? Maybe another drink?”

Before I can say that I’m fine, Lucy waves her hand, and the wine bottle lifts off the table, drifts through the air, then gracefully tilts towards my glass and pours without spilling a single drop. With a snap of Lucy’s fingers, the bottle returns to its place with a gentle thump.

“That’s just showing off,” Peter laughs.

Lucy shrugs and winks at him. “I’ve never been able to do things like this before. It’s just kind of fun.”

“Can you do that, Amanda?” Peter asks, turning to me. I know the question is innocent enough, but it cuts straight into my chest.

“I used to,” I answer in a small voice. I look down at my plate, focusing very hard on cutting apart a tomato so I don’t have to think about his question.

“But you’re Lucy’s mentor, aren’t you?” he asks. “Surely you’re more powerful.”

“Peter,” Lucy says softly as she reaches over to stroke his arm.

“Oh,” he mutters. “Sorry, Amanda. I forgot there was some issue with your magic. Do you know what caused it?”

“That’s what we’re going to find out,” I mutter, looking up at the clock.

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