Page 40 of Forced Plus-Size Mate

She still wants to sleep separately, but she gave me a goodnight kiss, and that’s better than I could have hoped for.

Chapter 13 - Amanda

As the gray light of dawn creeps across the outside of the tent, I lie in my sleeping bag, practically paralyzed with anxiety.

What the hell am I doing?

Since we arrived on the mountain, I’ve felt much closer to Body, and more attracted to him. I haven’t been able to stop myself from getting close to him.

And now all I can feel is the pain I’ve suffered for the last ten years. I don’t know if I can forgive him.

I sit up slowly, looking at my hands. With just the barest thought, yellow sparks begin to dance across my palms. I feel like I could do anything right now—even move the mountain itself if I had to.

And it’s because of Body. I know it is.

“Hey, Amanda, are you awake?” Body calls from outside the tent.

“Yes, coming,” I answer.

“Cool. I’ll get the kids up.”

When I push through the tent flap, the sky is silvery and dull, not yet lit by the clear yellow light of the sun. It feels like being in an eternal twilight, a place of uncertainty, and I’m afraid I might get trapped in it forever.

As Body gets the kids ready, I collapse the tents and pack them with just a wave of my hand. I stack the supplies onto the snowmobile using a few gestures. As I do, Grace comes over to watch.

“Is that easy to do?” she asks, and I nod.

“Yes, at the moment. A couple of weeks ago, I wouldn’t have been able to do it at all.”

“Why?”

“Magic was failing. Our rituals told us the only solution was to marry wolves.”

“So you just married Body for your own selfish reasons!”

“Grace,” I say, sighing. “It’s not that simple, okay. You’ll understand more when you’re older. Where did you even hear that?”

“The others are saying stuff,” she says. “The Decker pack wolves, they are talking about witches as if they’re bad.”

I smile at her. “Well, I guess I’ll have to prove them wrong.”

Grace nods and returns the smile before hurrying over to the others. I notice Body watching me and quickly turn my back to jump on the snowmobile.

I don’t want to look at him, or talk to him. I got comfortable and made him think everything is okay… and I am totally not okay!

Even as my fury rises and the pain of hundreds of sleepless nights threatens my heart, I can’t stop the warm glow that rises in me when I remember our kiss. The feel of his hands on me… his hot lips… the eager way his body responded to mine.

So close. I was so close to just saying “fuck it” and tearing his clothes off.

Gunning the snowmobile, I follow the tracks of the wolves, letting my competing emotions flood through me. The winner is still pain. The scar on my heart still aches from the way he betrayed me.

Body was just a stupid, conflicted kid. Surely you can forgive him one mistake.

That mistake destroyed me. It shattered the beauty of everything we shared. How can I ever forgive him?

The two sides of my mind are at war, and I don’t know how to resolve the conflict.

I’m not strong enough to give in… but I can’t leave him, either.

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