Page 59 of Lodged

“Hi, Mama,” I say with a big smile. I want to hug her, but I have crutches, and I’m still learning to maneuver with them.

“Good Heavens, who thought it was a good idea to send Ruin home with crutches in the middle of winter when the roads are slippery with ice?” Granny says as she joins us in the living room, and everyone laughs at her bluntness.

“That’s what I said, Granny, but the big boss over here said there would always be one of us around to help her. So she should be good,” Miles says as he points his thumb toward River.

“Well, it’s the truth. Ruin can’t be left alone, so we’ll take turns being around to help her. Rain made a spreadsheet showing who’s in charge of Ruin and when.”

I know my family means well, and they love me as much as I love them, but I hate feeling like I’m another chore to them. They all have jobs to tend to, and I’m adding to the pile.

“Sweetie, you know this is no hardship for us, right?” Mama says, taking my crutches and giving them to Miles to put away. “I prepared your bedroom to keep you as comfortable as possible. Good thing it’s on the first floor.”

“Ruin, darling, think about it this way. Now Granny has a companion to take naps and wobble around the house like two drunken gals,” Granny says, settling into her favorite comfy chair by the window where she spends most of the day knitting or reading her tarot cards. I shake my head, amused by the things Granny comes up with. It’s good to be home.

I’ve been going to the hospital three times a week for the last month. I’m in therapy for all of my broken bones. We started with my shoulder because I would need to move my arm and hands to help with my ankle exercises.

The pain, sweat, and tears were a great reminder of what I went through and how hard things can be. Mama or Rain helps me the other four days at home. The family room has been transformed into a mini gym, and I love sharing it with my napping gal. It’s incredible how much mobility Granny has regained after doing the exercises with me. She says she feels like she’s in her fifties again.

I have the same therapist every session, so it’s been nice to build a relationship with him. Nick is kind and friendly, but he doesn’t take bullshit from anyone. During the first couple of sessions, I thought I’d have to quit. The pain was awful, and I just didn’t have the drive to do it. But Nick held me accountable, and as the days went by, the exercises got a little easier.

“I don’t work with quitters, Ruin," he said once. "If you’re here, it is to get better, not to simmer in what you think is a miserable life. Believe it or not, plenty of people out there wouldgive anything for the chance to walk again, and they simply can’t. So, if you won’t do it for yourself, do it for them.”

That was the last time I complained. He was right. Even though I’m going through a rough time, I have my family’s support. With time and therapy, I can get back on my feet—literally.

When I got home from the hospital, I wasn't sure if Rain had taken things from my room or if I’d always had so few belongings. But the moment I walked in, one thing immediately caught my attention: the cutest stuffed animal—a husky with a tag that reads "Cobalt." I don’t remember when I got it or if someone gave it to me, but it feels special. I don’t think I’ve slept with a stuffy since I was nine or ten, but holding Cobalt at night makes me feel safe and cared for.

Lately, I’ve started bringing him everywhere with me. Remembering how I got him has become my main focus, and as the doctors said, the memories could come back at any time.

Chapter 26

Gio Bianchi

Out in the great outdoors is where I find solace, where my soul can finally be.

Out in the great outdoors is where I hope to find you, waiting for me, my sweet love.

But as the days go by, the hope fades and is replaced with sadness and regret.

I crossed twenty-five bridges to find you, I would burn them all to have you.

But the truth is, there is only one bridge between you and me, the bridge that links your heart with mine.

You will live in me forever, Ruin Josephine. You gave me a reason to fight.

As I say goodbye, I say it with a heavy heart and a shattered soul.

I trust that one day, our bridge will bring us back to where our souls entangled and our love began to grow.

My love for you will never fade. The memories will remain forever in my heart.

Because the true ruin is to roam this road without you by my side.

As I write these words, tears fall, splashing onto the pages of the notebook Ruin gave me on graduation day. All the bucket list items she mentioned will remain as proof of the love we shared.

Tomorrow is the beginning of another chapter in my life. One where I go back to who I was before I knew life could be in technicolor.

Chapter 27

Ruin MacAllister

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