Page 8 of Hate You Forever

He clenches his jaw. “All of it.”

I shake my head. “What do you want, Memphis?” I pick up my beer and take a long drink from the bottle. “Why are you here? Why come back all these years later?”

“This is my home, Jade.”

I cross my arms over my chest and sit back in my chair.

“Look, all those years ago, I wanted what we had, but I was scared. I was scared that we’d just get sucked into the grind here. I thought that we’d end up like my parents. I’d run the garage and you’d take care of the kids, and that’s it. That would be our whole life. I wanted to see what else was out there. Can you really blame me for that?”

I sit back up and train my eyes on him. “Do you know what hurt me more than anything?”

He doesn’t answer, so I continue.

“It’s the fact that you didn’t tell me. Sure, you took my virginity, but I still would’ve given it to you just because I loved you. I could have accepted that you wanted to leave because I loved you enough to let you go and find yourself. But what I couldn’t accept was that you felt like I wouldn’t understand, that you needed to sneak off in the middle of the night just to escape me.”

His facial features soften. “That’s not why I did it, Jade.” He breathes out, his eyes falling closed. “I knew we both needed more. You deserve more than I can ever give you. I mean, you’re beautiful, and smart, and kind, and loyal. You deserve the world, not just this town. And I knew that if I came to you and told you that I was leaving, that you could easilytalk me out of it, and I would’ve stayed because I love you. Don’t you see? I wasn’t strong enough. I wasn’t strong enough to stay, and I wasn’t strong enough to tell you that I was leaving. I did the only thing I knew how. I ran. I ran from you, from our love, from this idea of life that I knew were heading for. I wanted more for you, for us. And I knew the only way either of us would get that was if I left.” By the end of his speech, he’s breathless. We both take a few minutes to get our emotions under control.

“I know I did everything wrong, but is there any way that you think we can move past this?”

Pearl and Blake come back from dancing and take their seats. The conversation between Memphis and me fall away like it never even happened.

“So, Memphis, what have you been up to since you left?” Pearl asks, and it feels like she’s trying to smooth things over.

His eyes move from me to her. “Well, I joined the army and spent a few years doing that. When I got out, I traveled for a bit. I went to Florida, Hawaii, Alaska, New York, and California. I just wanted to see what was out there. But in the end, nothing looked as good as home. Nothing felt like home. So, here I am.” He holds his arms out at his sides and then lets them fall back into place.

Blake nods. “I traveled a lot for work, and let me tell you, there’s no place like home.”

“Where do you work?”

“I own and run a construction company. What about you? What are you planning on doing now that you’re back?”

“I’ve been helping my dad out at the garage. I plan on sticking around for a while and getting my old life back, including my girl,” he says, looking over at me. Pearl smiles wide as she squeezes Blake’s bicep.

“I have a boyfriend,” I blurt out, causing his smile to fade. “Yeah, me and Paul—we’ve been together for six months now.”

“Oh, please, Jade.” Pearl laughs out. Her cheeks are flushed and her eyes are glassy. It’s easy to see that she has a pretty good buzz going. She looks away from me and over to Memphis. “She doesn’t have a real boyfriend, Memphis. She has a guy that she’s been talking to on the internet. They’ve never met. Hell, who even knows if he is who he says he is.”

“Pearl!” I yell, feeling like someone just dumped a bucket of ice water over my head. “How could you say that? I thought we’d talked about this.” My mouth hangs open, and I can feel the sting of tears in my eyes, but I try holding them back. I don’t want Memphis to see me crying, not over something as stupid as this.

“Oh my God,” she says, realizing what she’s done. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to…I wasn’t thinking…I’ve been drinking, and it just came out.”

I shake my head and push my chair back, standing and leaving them and the bar behind me. When I hit the parking lot, the tears I’ve been trying to hold off overfill my eyes and roll down my cheeks.

“This is so stupid, Jade,” I whisper to myself as I lean against the side of my Jeep. “You know she’s right. Even if Paul is real, he isn’t real to me. We’ve never met. We’ve never touched or kissed.” I wipe the tears from my eyes and straighten when I hear the crunch of gravel. I look up in time to see Memphis coming to a stop before me.

“Please, just don’t,” I breathe out, shaking my head, no longer having the energy to fight him off.

“Just listen,” he starts. “I know things between us are fucked up, to say the least. I treated you badly, and I completely understand you wanting to avoid me for the rest of your life. But this town is small, too small to avoid anyone. I’m sorry for what I did. I really, truly am, Jade. I hate myself every day for it. I’m not asking for you to forgive me or take me back. But I do ask that when we see one another, you don’t feel the need to run and hide. I want us to be able to smile and wave, maybe even talk, then go our separate ways.”

I look up at him from beneath my lashes. “So, you want to be friends?”

He nods. “I want to be friends. Life’s too short to have an enemy, especially in this town.”

I nod, not sure how I feel about that. “I’ll think about it.”

Without another word, he turns and walks away, leaving me alone and staring after him.

When I get home, I let Noodle outside and pour myself a glass of wine. I take it back to the living room with me, where I sit on the couch and open my laptop to see if Paul happens to be on. There’s already a message waiting for me.

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