Page 5 of Hate You Forever

“Will do, Mrs. Tessle,” I mumble, rushing out of the post office with Mama’s mail stuffed under my arm. I nearly run away from Mrs. Tessleand her news that Memphis is back in town. Suddenly, I’m hyperaware of my surroundings. This town is small, too small for the both of us. And he could be anywhere. He could be sitting at The Place right now, watching me from the front window. I glance over my shoulder to peek into the window.

How long has he been in town? And how is it possible that I haven’t run into him yet? Normally, with something like this, I would turn to Pearl, but she’s already convinced that I’m still in love with him. Going to her with this new information would only drive the point home for her, and that’s something I can’t allow to happen. I’ve worked for years to put Memphis Styles behind me, to leave him and us in my past. I’ve worked too hard to let it all go to waste now. No, Memphis will stay right where he left me: on his doorstep, crying, not watching my every step in an attempt to avoid him.

I’m walking into Mama’s house a little while later. I place her mail on the table by the door, and she looks up from her recliner at me with a smile.

“Hey, Mom.” I flop down on the couch, directing my eyes to the TV where her favorite soap opera is playing.

“Hi, sweetheart. What have you been up to today?”

I shrug. “I went to work, then met up with Pearl for a drink. I got your mail and ran into Mrs. Tessle.”

She laughs. “And what’s the latest gossip?”

“Memphis is back in town,” I blurt out.

Her eyes stretch wide. She’s very aware of what this could do to me…if I let it. She lay by my side for months after he left, hugging me and supporting me and telling me that one day, everything would be fine. “Is she sure that she doesn’t have him confused with someone else?”

“She said she saw and heard his fire engine red GTO come barreling down the street. She even went as far as to ask me to remind him that there is a speed limit.”

She scoffs. “What an old hag! Doesn’t she remember you moping around here for months after he up and left without a word? How could she expect you to tell him that?”

“She is probably assuming that I’ve moved on like everyone else in this town, like I should have.”

Her face softens, and she places her hand on mine. “Your heart will heal when it’s supposed to, dear. There is no time limit on heartbreak. One of these days, you’ll find a man who will wipe out any memory of Memphis and replace them with new memories, better memories.”

I sure do hope so.

FOUR

Memphis

“Dad, can I ask you something?”

“If you hand me that crescent wrench,” he replies from under the hood of an old Chevy truck.

I hand it over and lean against the fender. “If you were me, would you go talk to Jade?”

He wheels himself out from under the truck to peer up at me. “Still have that one on the brain, do ya?”

I pop my jaw by wiggling it to the side and back. “I don’t know. I guess I do if I’m asking. Truth is,” I say, sitting down on a tire in the floor of the garage. “I guess I never moved on. When I’m gone, I can put her out of my head for a while. But when I’m here, there’s no avoiding her. All I want to do is see her, talk to her, touch her.”

“Pick things up where you left off?” he asks, sliding back under the truck.

“No. Yes. I don’t know.” I run my hand over my head, feeling my short hair springing right back into place. “I want her. I’ve always wanted her, but I hurt her, and I know that. I know she shouldn’t give me another chance, but that doesn’t stop me from thinking about it. I mean, I up and left. No note. No goodbye. No explanation. All after I took her virginity.”

I hear the tool in his hand clatter to the floor with that last part, and he comes sliding out again, frowning at me. “You what?”

I nod. “I know, I’m a dick. It’s just that, on prom night, I had it in my head that I was going to tell her that I enlisted, but I couldn’t. We were having a good time and dancing, and she was just so happy and beautiful that I didn’t want to ruin her night. Then, at the after party, I got drunk, and even though I told myself that I wouldn’t touch her, not unless she knew the truth, I couldn’t fight her off. She was dead set on losing it on prom night, and I figured I wanted her night to be special, so we had sex.”

He shakes his head and pushes himself back under the truck in an attempt to avoid me.

“So, you think she’d talk to me?”

He laughs long and hard. “Son, if I were her, I’d talk to you long enough to just snip your you-know-what off with apair of hedge trimmers.”

I smile and shake my head. “But seriously?”

He wheels himself out once more and sits up right to look me in the eye. “I really don’t know, son. I mean, she loved you once, she could love you again…or she might still. Fact of the matter is that you won’t know anything until you talk to her. If she smacks you across the face, you’ll deserve it, but you’ll know your answer, now won’t ya?” He gives me one of his famous long stares, which means I know the answer to my question already. “Now, let’s get back to work. I’m sure Mr. Peterson would like his truck back this week.” He lies back down and wheels himself under once more. I push myself up to my feet and grab the light, shining it right where I know he needs it.

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