Page 27 of One Last Night

“Yes, but you hate admitting how much you like me. You’d spare yourself the embarrassment if you didn’t allow your desperation for my company to grow so strong.”

I roll my eyes and pull on my seatbelt. “Well, you’ve managed to remind me of your least attractive quality of arrogance, so I don’t miss you nearly as much now.”

“You’re welcome. Just thinking of you.”

I laugh and shove him lightly. “So where do you want to go?”

“I was thinking we could explore the state forest. I hear there are miles of scenic—”

“No. Not the forest.”

He blinks. “Oh?”

I don’t like the searching quality of his gaze. “It’s not that much fun, really. Let’s visit the beach.”

“The beach it is.”

He takes me to the nearest beach. This far from the denser portion of the island, the beach isn’t crowded, and we’re able to keep mostly to ourselves as we walk. For a while, the conversation is lighthearted. He tells me about the candidates he’s interviewing for his agency, and I tell him about the children and about the mysteries I’m reading.

Eventually, though, he turns to me, and I see in his expression that the lighthearted portion of the day is over. “Mary. I’m worried about you.”

“About me? Why?”

“You made a promise to me that you haven’t kept. And I’m fine with that. I understand if you can’t see me. I even understand if you just don’t feel like making the drive. But forgetting about visiting me is another thing entirely. And forgetting three weeks in a row is… well, worrisome.”

I lower my eyes. “I’m sorry, Sean. I’ve just been so caught up in all of the drama at the Bellamy house. You know how I am.”

“I do. Well enough to know that if it was the Bellamy drama bothering you, you would have already investigated all of the servants yourself. You would have talked to people in town about the Bellamys. You would have called me with more than just Julian’s name, and you would have been much closer to an answer than you are now.”

I blink, unable to find an answer. He’s right. I’ve done little more than speculate about the attacks on the family, and on the rare occasions I notice how little I’ve worked, I excuse it by saying it’s not that much of a mystery. But if it were true that I wasn’t interested in an answer, I would never have bothered Sean in the first place.

“What’s going on, Mary?” he presses. “Is it Annie? Have you learned something about her?” He follows those questions up with the one I dread the most. “Did something happen in the forest?”

I pull away from him and cross my arms over my chest. Once more, my education isn’t necessary to recognize that as a defensive reaction.

He recognizes the same thing. “It’s me, Mary. I’m not going to hurt you, and I’m not going to run to the nearest psychologist and tell them to hunt you down and force you into a therapy session.” I lower my eyes and feel tears approach. “Is that what you thought I’d do?”

I sigh heavily. “I’ve just been… a little off. Seeing those letters… I’m worried about what they say. I… I don’t know if I’ve told you this before, but I don’t remember everything about my life before Annie’s disappearance.”

“You’ve mentioned it once or twice.”

“Oh. Well, it’s true. But since I left teaching and found myself in the middle of mysteries involving other families, I’ve been fixated on the mystery involving mine. You know that part, ofcourse. But the closer I get to the truth, the more frightened I am. The more I remember…”

My lips tremble. I have to fight to get this last part out. “The more I remember, the more I think that I might have been the one to drive her away.”

He smiles softly. “You’ve mentioned that too.”

“I know. But I’m afraid to find out that it’s true. If I’m responsible for Annie leaving, then that means it’s my fault that I’ve spent my whole life miserable. Not mywholelife, but you know what I mean. I’m just… I’m afraid, Sean. I’m so afraid. I feel like I’ve fought hard to achieve some closure, but I’ve only brought myself more confusion. And now I feel like I can’t even trust my own memory. What if I hurt her? We used to fight, you know. What if we fought too hard one day, and I hurt her, and that’s why she left?”

Sean doesn’t answer me right away. His face suggests that he doesn’t know how to answer me. I don’t blame him for that at all. I don’t know how to answer myself either.

“Let’s go get some lunch,” he offers. “We’ll think better with food in our bellies, yes?”

I manage a watery smile, and he pulls me close. “It’ll be all right. We’ll work this out. You’re not alone.”

Those three words have to be the most beautiful words in any language.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

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