“I have no idea if you would like it. It’s a ring. A diamond. Looked expensive.”

“Where is it? Where did Jake hide it?” I half wanted to see it, half didn’t. I didn’t want to spoil the surprise but I was also dying of curiosity. And slightly concerned that I might not like it. Jake was a fan of leg lamps and sports blankets and I was super picky when it came to anything related to fashion. If I didn’t like it,my face would be too loud during the proposal. I had been told I have the world’s worst poker face.

Worry started to mix with excitement and I yanked open the nearest kitchen drawer. “In here?”

The problem with an old kitchen was there was nothing to stop the drawer. When I yanked it ferociously it came all the way out and hit the floor, the drawer front popping off and splintering as spatulas and a potato masher went flying.

Ryan backed away from me and held his hands out. “Okay, let’s take it down a notch.”

It wasn’t like anything could hurt him. But I did stare at the damaged drawer. “Whoops.”

“Why are you freaking out? Is this because you don’t want Marner to propose to you?”

I picked the drawer up and shoved it back in place. “What? No, of course not. I mean, yes, I want him to propose to me. One hundred percent I want to marry him. That’s why I’m freaking out. This is a big deal. This is exciting. I want to react right when he does and now I know and I’m scared I’m going to be weird.”

My heart was racing in the best way possible.

Ryan didn’t respond and after I scooped up a handful of utensils and tossed them in the sink to wash I eyed him. He looked troubled. Morose. Irritated. A sneaking suspicion turned into a full blown belief.

“You don’t want him to propose to me,” I said, astonished.

“You guys have been dating for five minutes,” he said, avoiding directly answering me. “Don’t you think you’re rushing this?”

I stared at him. “No. I don’t. We’ve been living together for months. We just bought a house together. I think it’s pretty obvious our intention is to be together forever.”

“Hmm. It’s just fast.”

“It’s not fast. We’ve known each other for years. We know each other.”

“Exactly. You’ve known each other for years and never wanted to get married to him before. What changed?”

I set the drawer front on the counter carefully and thought about how I wanted to have this conversation with Ryan. Because this was about more than me and Jake getting married. It was about Ryan feeling stuck while everyone else was moving forward.

“What changed is that I lost someone important to me.”

He wrinkled his nose, clearly uncomfortable. “Did you find them?” he joked.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. I needed to be delicate whether he wanted me to be or not.

“I did find him,” I said. “He’s standing in my kitchen acting like he doesn’t care. When I know he does. But it’s okay because it’s complicated.”

“Don’t get weird on me.”

“I’m not getting weird. But I actually believe that Jake and I came back into each other’s lives at the perfect time and we fell in love and you can think that’s gross all you want but it’s reality. And you’re right—I’m mad you told me.”

Ryan threw up his hands in the air. “Damn it, Bai, I told you. You’re just like a squirrel with a nut.” He made a gesture where his fingers were pinching together. “Peck, peck, peck.”

“That’s a bird, not a squirrel.”

“You really are incredibly annoying. I can’t believe that a guy as cool as Jake wants to marry you.”

That made me laugh. “Be quiet.”

“At least I don’t have to wear a monkey suit and be his best man. Though I would have enjoyed hitting on the bridesmaids.”

“My sister is married and so is Alyssa. You can’t hit on my bridesmaids.”

“I could have still hit on them. They can choose to respond or not. What about your cousin? Isn’t she single?”