Page 16 of Play the Game

She emerged from the bathroom with her hair tied up in a scarf. The fresh scent of soap and toothpaste trailed behind her. “All yours,” she said.

I showered and brushed my teeth quickly, worried that if I didn’t, she would already be asleep—or feigning sleep—by the time I returned. When I stepped back into the bedroom, she was still awake but had turned off the lamp beside the double bed she’d claimed, leaving the light on beside the bed that would be mine. Sitting in the shadows, she was rubbing lotion into her hands. She didn’t look at me.

I wasn’t going to allow the painful and awkward distance between us to stand. I channeled my former self, the pre-kissing-Tam Jason. I smiled and plopped down beside her on her bed, fluffed up some pillows against the headboard, and leaned back against them. We were best friends hanging out together. Nothing more.

“So, let’s talk,” I said. When she stared at me with wide eyes, I continued. “We did good work today, didn’t we?”

She nodded. “We did.”

“That was impressive, the way you surveyed the building and put together an extraction plan on the fly.”

“Thanks.” Her shoulders dropped an inch.

“It felt good, didn’t it? I knew you’d be great in charge of logistics, but you enjoyed yourself, too.”

She nodded. She’d barely spoken and still wasn’t smiling, but I wasn’t giving up.

“Come on.” I nudged her arm with mine. “Admit it. It was fun being on the ground for a change, getting a taste of the tactical crew’s adrenaline rush.”

She finally smiled. “I guess it was. And I’m really glad we didn’t need those extraction plans.”

“I would have been fine if we had,” I said. “I would have totally trusted being in your hands. You’re amazing at your job, Tam. You know that, right?”

“Maybe, but...” She sighed and stared down at her hands. “I wasn’t completely professional today, was I?”

I knew she was talking about the kiss, but I needed her to share her thoughts in her own time. “Everything you did was in service to the operation.”

“Was it?” She looked at me, then glanced away. “I went off-plan.”

“Because I went off-plan first.” I touched her hand and was relieved when she didn’t flinch or pull it away. “I let Pasco get to me, and if it hadn’t been for you improvising, I would have slaughtered him. On the hack, of course.”

She smiled again. “You really hate that asshole, don’t you?”

I laughed, and she joined me. We both leaned back against our pillows. The ice was thawing. “I do. And now he’ll be able to brag for the rest of his life that he kicked my ass.”

“So did Sarah Bee, and she’s only twenty-one.”

“Nineteen, actually,” I reminded her, because we’d discovered Clara aka Sarah had faked her age to get past the 21-and-over age requirement. It had been a damn fine fake, but I was sure the Carbonados knew as well as HEAT did that she’d lied. “They’ll be happy for her talent, though.”

“You think she’ll take their job offer?”

“Do you think they’ll give her a choice?” When she didn’t answer, I slid down on my pillow and turned to face her. “About that improv...”

She slid down and turned to face me. “I was hoping we’d said all we need to say about that, but you’re right. I owe you an apology. I crossed so many lines. Not just professionally, but with our friendship. I—”

I pressed my thumb to her lips. “You did the right thing. You kissing me was probably the only thing in the world that would have distracted me from kicking Pasco’s ass. Well, maybe a well-timed explosion, but the tactic you chose spared innocent lives, so I think we should count it as a win.”

“Jase, I can’t lie to you,” she whispered. “I didn’t just do that to distract you. I mean, of course, I needed to distract you, but I also wanted to kiss you. I know that’s fucked-up. We’re best friends.”

“That’s why you’re so upset?” I stroked her lower lip. “Tam, that’s not fucked-up. In fact, it’s the best news I’ve heard all night. For a while there, I thought I was losing my mind and imagining you wanted that kiss as much as I did.”

“You weren’t wrong.” She closed her eyes for a few seconds, then opened them again. “I’ve wanted to do that for a long time.”

I nodded. “So have I. For months. Maybe longer. I don’t know when things changed, but they did.”

“I know exactly when they changed for me,” she said. “Six months ago, after you signed your divorce papers and Alder and I stayed up all night drinking with you... The next day, I walked into the briefing room, and you were sitting there, and something just...” She shrugged. “Shifted.”

I couldn’t let this moment pass by. “Tam, since we both—”

---