Page 73 of Where the Wicked Reign

He stroked my arm up and down in a soft and reassuring way that had a definite soothing effect. I could feel it calming me a little at a time. “I understand that things are different in the harsh light of day. That’s how it always feels for me the following day, after I’ve unleashed myferalside for Marchetti Syndicate business.”

“Really?”

“Absolutely.”

“You’ve shoved it back down afterward?”

“I did, because there was no other outlet for it. Until the next order for that level of brutality came in from the Family.” His hand lifted to my cheek. “But that’s not true anymore. Now that last night happened. Now that there’s you.” His eyes shone with reverence. “I knew it, I knew it three years ago. And finally, I have my confirmation.”

“Nico, I can’t simply—”

“There’s nosimplyabout it. I know.”

“You do? Because bringing it out, engaging with that part of myself on a regular basis… it’s beyond dangerous. I might lose control completely, might lose myself.”

“You won’t.”

“You don’t know that and—”

“I won’t let you.”

I grasped his hand on my cheek and eased it down, but I still held it between us, finding myself not wanting to break contact, not wanting to pull from his warmth this time.

I spent so much time in the cold, cut off from everything and everyone. Even my mom, really. I kept her at a distance. Because of her obvious tie to my father, it was a protective measure. And beyond her, I hadn’t come close to being in a position to allow myself to trust anyone else.

The truth was, I hadn’t really tried.

I’d always thought it had been safer that way.

Not to ever trust.

To always stand at a distance.

To remain cut off and shutdown.

To focus just on business, to move from task to task and deal to deal.

But being around the camaraderie of Nico, Julian, and Emilio, it had shown me something different. That opening up could lead to something positive. The way they supported one another, the way they cared for one another—even when they were arguing—it was striking. Remarkable, really, considering the world they operated in.

That didn’t mean it could apply to me, though.

“I can’t risk it.”

“Caterina—”

“If last night doesn’t just stay as last night, it could threaten everything, complicate things further than they already are.”

“It could also make things better. Easier. Especially when we’re married. It could actually be pleasant.”

I jerked away. “It’s a business deal. Anarrangedmarriage. But you want to make it real, don’t you?”

“I wanted you long before this order came down from on high.”

“Wanting me is one thing. Marriage is another. It’s skipping tons of steps along the way from being attracted to someone, to binding yourself to them in this way.”

“Our world is different. You’re getting caught up in notions of what you think thingsshouldbe instead of what they are, or what they could be.” He shook his head. “You’re not open at all.”

“Nico—”

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