Page 19 of Hit Me With Your Best Shot

Austin: Are you sure I can’t convince you to join me tomorrow?

G: I’m sure you have someone else you were planning to bring as your plus one, and not the dude you met in a bar.

Austin: I was planning on asking my friend Dolly to come along, but if you change your mind, you have until 10 PM tonight before I turn into a pumpkin. She’s not a superfan like I am, but she doesn’t mind eye-candy.

G: Eye-candy?

Austin: Hockey players tend to be ridiculously good-looking. Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed.

G: Can’t say I have.

Austin: Have you told your sister you gave her tickets away to some random woman you met at a bar?

G: Yup. She totally approves. And they’re her tickets by proxy…

Austin: I have no idea what that means but I’ll take your word for it. Did she ask you a million questions about me??

G: Of course she did—she’s my sister. Asking a million questions is practically her job.

Austin: And? What did you tell her?

G: The truth.

Austin: Which is…? (this is like pulling teeth, my God)

G: I told her I gave the tickets to a random woman I met at a bar because she seems like a nice person who REALLY loves hockey.

Austin: Oh.

G: LOL why do you sound disappointed???

Austin: I don’t sound disappointed! I’m processing my feelings about that sad, basic description of myself.

G: How is that basic?

Austin: The fact that “nice person who really loves hockey” is apparently my entire personality now.

G: Would you rather I told her you’re a glitter enthusiast who plans on savagely roasting a goalie who sucks at his job?

Austin: You know what? YES DEAR GOD YES. It’s entirely more accurate.

Austin: Also. I’m still stuck on the fact that your sister was cool with this. Mine would’ve interrogated me for hours.

G: Mine tried. I told her not to push her luck.

Austin: Ah, classic. Is she older or younger?

G: Neither. We’re twins

Austin: WHAT?! Twins? That’s awesome. Are you the good one or the evil one?

G: Depends who you ask.

Austin: I’masking YOU.

G: In that case, yes—I am the good one. My sister is way more diabolical than I am, as most sisters are…

Austin: Oh, come on. What’s the most diabolical thing she’s ever done?

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