Page 38 of How to Score Off Field

He looovessaying that.

“I don’t know if Tess is into me or not.” I go back to the original subject. “Does it count that she poked me in the ass crack with a golf club?”

Drake considers this information, slowly nodding. “Like, how far up the crack did it go?”

I think for a second. “Eh, between the legs, I would say.”

He nods. “She was definitely flirting. Did she say anything?”

“Yeah, I asked her what she did that for and she said, ‘I’m teasing to see how unflappable you are.’”

“What does unflappable mean?” my twin asks.

“That’s exactly what I said!”

“So what does it mean?”

I stop shaving my neck to respond to him. “She said it means I’m cool. Then she winked at me.”

“Winked at you?”

“Yeah.”

“Hmm. That’s a tough one. She can still tease you and not be into you.”

That’s true.

“Has she flirted with you any other time?”

“Not really? I don’t think.”

Drake watches me through the phone. “Actually, that was a stupid question for me to ask because you wouldn’t know a chick was flirtin’ with you if she poked you up the butt with a golf putter.”

He’s not wrong.

“Dude, this is not helping.”

He shrugs. “Well are you tryin to make a move on her or what?”

Make a move on Tess ?

“That’s not a good idea,” I tell him.

“Why?”

“’Cause she’s Grady’s sister.”

Drake snorts, real loud and obnoxious like. “First of all, fuck Grady. Second, he’s not even around, you said so yourself. If he gave a shit, he wouldn’t be stickin’ you with her, would he?”

I can’t help but nod along.

“Third, it’s a free fucking country. If you’re into a girl, you’re allowed to be into her. You of all people? Please, you’re the last person to bag and tag.”

Bag and tag?

What the hell is he talking about?

He rolls his eyes so hard at me. “I mean sleep with someone and not call them back. Catch and release. One-night stand.” He’s clearly disgusted with my lack of awareness. “Dude. Come on.”

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