Page 38 of How to Win the Girl
Me:You are NOT a giant nerd, give me a break.
Drew:Try me
Me:What’s the last book you read?
Drew:Lord of the Rings
Me:And WHEN was that?
Drew:Idk, last week?
He is so full of shit. He did not readLord of the Ringslast week.
He couldn’t have possibly. That book is like, a billion pages long.
Drew:What about you? What’s the last book you read?
Me:This isn’t about me. This is about you trying to prove what a “nerd” you are.
I go back to Drew Colter’s photo gallery and give him a once-over. He certainly doesn’t look like the type of guy who sits at home poring over a sci-fi fantasy fiction novel.
Drew:LOL ok
Me:What’s your hardest class?
Drew:Biochem
Me:Biochem! Why are earth are you taking THAT!? Aren’t you a football player? Don’t they take fake classes??
Drew:NO we don’t take fake classes, but yes, some are way easier so those of us who are solely focused on football can focus on football.
Me:And you are not solely focused on football?
Drew:I like having options.
Me:Interesting
Drew:Dude, stop saying interesting.
Me:DUDE, I’ve only said it twice, bro.
Drew:LOL
I bite down on my bottom lip, imagining him sitting at home the way I am and laughing in that deep voice of his at my double friend-zone tactic, though honestly, that’s not necessarily where I’d stick him anymore.
The little weasel is worming his way onto my good side.
YOU HAVE A VOICEMAIL FROM DREW COLTER
“Listen, you shit. You cannot be calling me dude and bro. I am not your brother nor do I want to be.”
Instantly, I respond:Did you just call me a shit?
Drew:Would you stop texting me and send a voice message like a normal person?
What normal person sends voice messages? Normal people text.
Get with the program.
