Page 38 of How to Win the Girl

Me:You are NOT a giant nerd, give me a break.

Drew:Try me

Me:What’s the last book you read?

Drew:Lord of the Rings

Me:And WHEN was that?

Drew:Idk, last week?

He is so full of shit. He did not readLord of the Ringslast week.

He couldn’t have possibly. That book is like, a billion pages long.

Drew:What about you? What’s the last book you read?

Me:This isn’t about me. This is about you trying to prove what a “nerd” you are.

I go back to Drew Colter’s photo gallery and give him a once-over. He certainly doesn’t look like the type of guy who sits at home poring over a sci-fi fantasy fiction novel.

Drew:LOL ok

Me:What’s your hardest class?

Drew:Biochem

Me:Biochem! Why are earth are you taking THAT!? Aren’t you a football player? Don’t they take fake classes??

Drew:NO we don’t take fake classes, but yes, some are way easier so those of us who are solely focused on football can focus on football.

Me:And you are not solely focused on football?

Drew:I like having options.

Me:Interesting

Drew:Dude, stop saying interesting.

Me:DUDE, I’ve only said it twice, bro.

Drew:LOL

I bite down on my bottom lip, imagining him sitting at home the way I am and laughing in that deep voice of his at my double friend-zone tactic, though honestly, that’s not necessarily where I’d stick him anymore.

The little weasel is worming his way onto my good side.

YOU HAVE A VOICEMAIL FROM DREW COLTER

“Listen, you shit. You cannot be calling me dude and bro. I am not your brother nor do I want to be.”

Instantly, I respond:Did you just call me a shit?

Drew:Would you stop texting me and send a voice message like a normal person?

What normal person sends voice messages? Normal people text.

Get with the program.

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