Page 26 of How to Win the Girl

Drew C:Which what’s-her-face do you speak of?

Daisy:I don’t know, the last person you told me about going out with it was a date dash, right before you hit the gym?

Drew C:Ohhh herrrr. Yeah, it was a no.

Daisy:How was she a no??

Drew C:Turns out,she was a gold-digger.

Daisy:LOL

Drew C:What’s so damn funny?

Daisy:Do you HAVE gold for her to dig?

I glance over at Daisy again.

We make eye contact despite the distance between our seats.

I stick my tongue out and pull a face.

My phone vibrates.

Daisy:Did you just stick your tongue out at me?

Drew C:Oh, you caught that?

Daisy:Um, yeah—you stuck your tongue all the way out.

Drew C:LOL I was flirting.

Daisy:No, you literally were not.

Drew C:How would you know?

Daisy:Because only seven-year-old boys stick their tongues out at people.

Drew C:#foreveryoung.

Daisy:Stop messaging me. I’m trying to concentrate.

Drew C:Oh PLEASE this saggy sac of nuts hasn’t said anything remotely relevant to this class. All he does is filibuster about himself.

I pat myself for the use of big words: relevant. Filibuster. Remotely.

Wonder if she’ll be impressed with Drew’s vocab. I’m certainly impressed withmine.

Daisy:You did not just call the professor a saggy nut sack…

Drew C:Yeah, in fact, I did, and also, it’s SAC when you’re talking about balls, which you are.

Daisy:You are making me dumber.

Drew C:I’m not wrong, tho.

Drew C:So how is the online dating going for you? It can’t be easy for someone like you to meet someone.

Daisy:Um. What does THAT mean?