Page 157 of How to Win the Girl

“I heard that, and I’m taller than you.”

“By half an inch.”

“Same size as your cock.”

Duke laughs. “Why do you have to insult my manhood?”

I change the subject so we’re not on the phone the entire time talking about dick size and whose is bigger.

“I wanted to ask how you knew you liked Posey.”

“I don’t know. I knew she aggravated me to no end before I knew I loved her. Why, you think you’re in love with someone?”

“No! I just want to make sure I’m ready for this ’cause if I fuck this up, she’ll have my nuts in a vise.”

That makes my brother laugh. “Ahh, she’s one of those girls. A ballbuster, eh? Figures. Seems like we all have a type.”

Strong, independent females? Sounds about right.

“Listen, I have to go, but if I had any advice to give—which I don’t. Not really. It’s to stop overthinkin’ things. Go with your gut. It’s never steered you wrong.” He pauses. “Except that one time you let your gut trade those really expensive sneakers Mom had gotten you for a Nerf dart gun.”

“Oh jeez, I forgot about that.”

Mom was so pissed off when she found out—and found out by accident—that I’d traded a kid at school my three hundred dollar shoes for a twenty-five dollar toy.

“What time’s your date?” Duke asks.

“Half hour. I gotta go pick her up, we’re goin’ to dinner.”

“What kind of dinner?”

“Nicest place I could find around here. Steak place just outside of town, by a lake.”

“La di da—don’t you let her go fallin in love with you so soon.”

“Her name is Daisy, and she put me on a sex ban. Says she wants me to get to know her so our relationship isn’t just physical.”

It sounds like he’s nodding. “Yeah, been there, done that.”

“How’d it work out for you?”

“We’re livin’ together now, and we’re talkin' ’bout babies, so how do you think it’s workin’ out for me?”

If my eyes weren’t glued to my skull, they’d be half out of their sockets.

“Babies. Shit, does Mom know that?”

“That’s a conversation for a different day and don’t you go flappin’ your jaws to her about it.”

“Yeah yeah, do I look like I was born yesterday?”

“Yup.”

“Shut up, douche.”

Eventually, he had to cut the call short, being interrupted by what sounded like a coach or a staffer. We told each other love yous and that we wouldn’t wait so long between calls, but you know how that goes.

Daisy is ready when I get there, half out of the door before I’m out of the truck, clicking down the sidewalk, teetering on summery high-heeled wedges, wearing the sexiest, prettiest white dress.

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